Call It Off
by samzyrox
Summary: Jade and Tori are in love. Cat is feeling rejected, and everything begins to fall apart. First fic, please review :) Rated M for language and possible smut in the future, lots of Jori fluff.
1. Perfection

**Hello There :) Lately I've just been creeping around, spending all my spare time reading victorious fics, and I have started one and i decided to upload it :) I promise I will finish it also. If you could r&r it would be much appreciated! Enjoy!**

1.

"Get up" is all she tells me, drawing my mind away from the blurry perfection of my dreams. A dog barks in the distance, and somewhere a baby cries, but inside the house, it is silent. Cold, hard unforgiving silence. I slowly rise, shifting my weight from one foot to the other, testing my weight, unsure if my feet could hold me up. I start to shuffle forward, my breath curling upwards, leaving a trail of steam.

As I tiptoe downstairs, the stairs creak beneath my weight. She's in there, as per usual, high heels clicking, her hair in a perfect bun at the top of her head. She hears me enter and whips round to look at me. She sniffs and gives a disapproving glance.

"I hope to god you don't go to school like that." She turns back around and finishes her coffee.

I wrap my arms around myself and shiver. Her words are like ice. I clear my throat, but say nothing, and I push past her to get to the fridge.

I open it to pretend I'm looking for something, searching the shelves until I know she's gone. But she doesn't leave; she's waiting to get my attention. I get a yoghurt and close the door. Her steely gray eyes are staring into mine.

"Do you know how many calories those things have?"

I look down and shake my head. She steps forward and rips it from my hand, reading the back of it.

"Far more than you need." She states, throwing it in the trash.

"Get some fruit ones on your way home." With that, she grabs her handbag and tears out the door.

I pull the fingers at the closed door and pull another yoghurt from the fridge. I'm halfway back up the stairs when I smack into Sonia. Her eyes are just as gray, but not as cold. They're more amused.

"I don't know why you're so scared of her." _You used to be_. I think to myself, but I don't say a word.

"She's not even that bad." _That's just because you're turning into her. _

She keeps going down the stairs and I make my way back into my room, looking in the mirror on my door.

My black hair is messily falling down my back, dark rings under my eyes, my skin blotchy. green eyes stare back, my bedclothes rumpled. I turn my mirror around and get changed. Black and more black. I hastily brush my hair, and cover the black rings. I grab my backpack and run down the stairs. As I near the front door, Sonia starts to say something, but I ignore her and go through the front door, slamming it behind me. I race to the bus stop, desperate to get away from home, desperate for a smoke, desperate for her.

She always smells of strawberries. I guess that's why they're my favourite fruit. Every time we're together, I can't help but inhale her scent, it brings me back, takes me home. To my real home, not the bullshit place with the devil mother and soon to be devil sister. I suppose that's a bit ironic, since I'm the devil in their eyes. She has these deep brown eyes, with gold flecks, that will never be cold, that will never stare at me with hatred or malice. I will never turn away or look down if they're staring at me. Her hair always manages to fall in place, long shining chestnut locks that tumble down her back, perfect curls of light. Her lips, so insanely kissable, pink and perfect. And her smile, Jesus, don't get me started. I never expected her. She just turned up out of the blue one day, smiled at me and I was gone.

My stop is the first, so as I greet the bus driver and get on, I'm the only one. I sit behind him, as we get on pretty well, and I don't talk to anyone on my bus anymore. We chit chat idly as we stop and go, most people blanking me as they walk on.

We come to our last stop before school, the stop I dread the most, even though I should be used to it by now. The first gets on, and she acts like I'm not there, I don't know whether it hurts more when the second gets on and death stares at me. I decide it's roughly the same and ignore their laughter as they walk past together. The driver sees the pain in my face.

"You alright Darl'?" I nod and look at him through the mirror. His eyes are full of concern and I feel a pang in my chest. I turn away and he does too.

We get to school and I wait until everyone else gets off till I move, as to avoid confrontation. I say goodbye to the driver as I leave, and wait until he's gone before quickly walking through the gates.

"Bitch." I hear someone snarl.

I assume it's directed at me. I turn fleetingly and see Cat standing there, so my assumptions were confirmed. She doesn't do this often, so I put it down to her being in an extra bad mood, or because it was a long weekend she had missed bitching for a day and had to take it out on me. I chose the latter. I ignore her and walk straight past, heading for the back.

As I get to the field, I scale the small fence to the park next door, and there she was. A joint dangling between her fingers. It still happened every time I saw her. I try to slow myself down, so not to run at her like I always wanted to. I calm myself and walk slowly over to her. She doesn't look up, but she knows it was me. She always knows it's me. I sit down beside her and she holds the smoke in my direction. I take it and inhale deeply. As I slowly breathe the smoke out, she speaks.

"How do you do that?"

I take another drag."Do what?" I long to touch her, but I sit still.

"Take it so well. I still cough sometimes and I can't even drag in properly."

I turn and wink at her. "I'm a natural." I take one more deep drag before passing the smoke back to her and closing my eyes. I know she's there before I open my eyes. She's over top of me, her hair dangling down.

"You haven't been sleeping properly." She says accusingly.

"Sorry." I mumble, taking the smoke once more.

"Hey, give that back." But I'm already breathing in, and I blow the smoke into her mouth. The anger is gone from her face.

"Stealing is punishable by law, you know?" She mutters. Everything is warped. Perfect.

"I don't want to go to school." I whisper to her. She slowly stands up, as if testing her legs.

"Well come on then, you know where to go."

"I don't think I can stand too well." She gives me her hand, and I grab it, her skin soft.

We scale the next fence over (She basically has to haul me up) and we land in her backyard. She gets out her key and opens the back door, pulling me in after her. She goes to the kitchen, grabbing chips and coke, before dragging me into her room and closing the door after us. I sit on her bed, as she turns the stereo on. She reaches into her bedside draw, and then pulls out her homemade "decorative vase" (as she likes to call it) before lighting it. We pass it back and forth, hazy smoke filling the air, the music blaring.

"How does your mum not catch you?" I ask her, opening the bag of chips. She slowly shrugs.

"Iunno, she's always been a bit slow really." I nod. Her mum was very sweet but a bit ditzy.

"Oi." She mutters.

"Yeah?" I respond.

"Come 'ere." I roll towards her and tuck myself into her arms.

"I wish we could spend every day like this." She whispers into my ear. I move myself closer to her face...

_**RING RING, RING RING**_

"Mother fu-". She picks up the phone next to her bed.

"Hello?" _She really has her mum's voice down to pat._

"Is this Tori's mother?"

"Why yes this is, and who is speaking?"

"This is the school, we were wondering why Tori was absent during roll call?"

"Oh dear!" She mimicked. "I completely forgot to call! Tori's terribly sick, she's been vomiting all night, I do apologise."

I zone out from the call but come back into reality as she lies back down next to me.

"Do you think they've called your house?" I nod my head.

"Hopefully Sonia hasn't turned into a mega bitch and turned me in."

At that precise moment, my phone rings. "It's Sonia." I say, as I flip it open.

"Where are you?"

I sigh. "Take a guess."

I hear her sigh back. "I'm sick of your shit Jade, and I swear this is the last time." I'm about to reply, but she hangs up on me.

I throw my phone across the room.

"What'd you do that for?" Tori's voice is slurring.

"Distraction." She takes that as a hint and moves her face towards mine, and I finally get my first kiss of the morning.


	2. Babylon

**Here we are, Chapter 2! Thankyou for the feedback thus far. I'm sorry if people thought the smoking was a bit too much, but I promise it's not a major part in this story, and there won't be anymore of it (in detail anyway) but yeah hope you enjoy this, despite the lack of Jori L**

2.

As I get home that afternoon, freshly showered and made up, I smack into Sonia on the way in.

"Why is your hair wet?" She demands.

I step back. "It's called a shower. Thanks for covering for me."

She shakes her head at me. "Whatever."

I smile at her and she smiles back, walking out the front door.

I am alone now, as I walk into my room.

All that fills me is Tori. Tori and even more Tori. I smile stupidly. The things that girl does to me. I get stuck into a daydream, when I hear a banging at my window. I sit up and look outside.

"Let me in!" I glance over the windowsill and Beck Oliver is standing on my lawn.

"She's not home, come round the front." I yell out to him. He sighs a sigh of relief and I hear the front door open. He bangs his way up the stairs and he opens my door.

"Hallo Jade." He comes in and sits on my floor, sitting like a dog.

"Hey Beck." I sigh and flop backwards onto my bed.

"Hey, what's up?" I feel his weight push down on the foot of my bed. I sigh again.

Beck's the only one, apart from Tori of course, I can talk to. We used to date, and it was pretty serious too. When he broke up with me, I cried for weeks, and that's how I became close with Tori. She helped me through it.

Beck got really jealous, and surprisingly, we got through it. That was over a year ago now but I'm still amazed at how well we repaired and went back to being so close. But of course there were other factors of that too. He was my best friend, and he was so supportive of everything.

"Cat."

"Ohh." Beck said, understandingly.

"What's happening with her?"

"I don't know, I thought we'd be okay by now, and yet here we are, with her swearing at me, when a few months ago she had never even said 'hell' before." I sit up and look at Beck. "She's changed, Beck, like, I understand that she doesn't want to talk to me, but she has changed radically, and it really fucking sucks."

Beck shuffles closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"C'mon love, it will be okay eventually, she's probably missing you and Tori and doesn't know how to act, you know her, you know you do, and she'll get over it."

I think back to how we used to be. When Cat and I were best friends, when she was bright and bubbly and never stopped smiling. When all I did was put her down and make her feel like shit, and she just kept coming back. She understood. She understood what mum was like, what went on at home, she was there when I cried and cried.

Then, one day, I think she just gave up. It was the day Tori and I got together. Cat was heartbroken, I think. Seeing me so open and happy with another girl, that wasn't her. I had known Cat for years, I had pushed her away for years, and then this new girl walks into my life that I can't push away anymore. Cat went and cried in the bathroom. I didn't follow her. I'm still not sure why I didn't, and now I regret it.

Cat became nasty, obviously getting revenge for the years I treated her like shit. She told all her friends how much of a bitch I was, and now they all hated me also. I cried in Tori's arms for nights, I had lost my best friend, and it was all my fault.

The next day at school when I walked in holding Tori's hand, determined to keep my head up, the names wouldn't stop. Everyone was glaring and whispering nasty words towards us, and that's the day the ritual began, where we'd skip school one day a week and go get stoned instead.

It's my fault I turned Tori into a bit of a fuck up. I needed her to be like me. I know she's far too bright and chirper to turn into a spiralling mess like I am, but I still wanted to bring her down somehow.

That's stopped now, she's happy that she's loosened up, but she's still smart enough to keep up at school and keep her parents happy. I don't know what parents being happy even remotely feels like, but from the way Tori's always smiling, I'm sure it's nice.

The couple of times I had stayed at Tori's house, her parents were amazing. Okay, so I wasn't a fan of her older sister, Trina, but her parents were funny and warm and caring and I felt tears spring to my eyes whenever I had to leave. I wish I could live there. Sometimes I think about it, and I know that Tori would say yes and her parents would say yes, but I would never want to be a burden.

"How was school?" Beck asks, shuffling around and getting himself comfortable. I shrug. "Didn't go."

Beck rolls his eyes. "Of course you didn't. No wonder I didn't see you." I sigh and slug him in the arm.

"Beck, it's a Tuesday, you should know this."

He wags his finger at me. "That is true. My bad. Also, I spoke to Cat today."

I look at him, wide eyed. "What about? When? Where? Did she say anything about me?"

"Sikowitz' homework, after Sikowitz' class, lunch, no." I drop my head down.

"Jade, let's be honest here, you started this, you have to fix it." Beck didn't believe in mincing words.

"Yeah I know."

Beck sighs and stands up, going over to my iPod dock. He chooses a song and I smile as he sits back down next to me, grabbing the remote and turning it up.

The smooth voice of David Gray washes over me as I let my problems disappear, if only for a short while, feeling at ease in my best friend's company.

"_Let go of your heart, let go of your head, and feel it now. Babylon."_

**Sorry about the lack of Jori in this chapter, but i felt an establishing chapter needed to be in here, and some Bade friendship, just because Bade is great in all forms. Please rate and review! Hope you liked it J xx**


	3. Sing

**Hello, once again! Get ready for lots of Jori, fluff, and drama. I really hope you guys are enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it, let me know what you think!**

3.

_Saturday Night_

Hollywood Arts talent quest. You'd expect amazing things, right? Because it's an arts school and all. Well, wrong. I watch from backstage as Sinjin tells some absolutely terrible jokes to a very tough crowd. He gets booed off and I laugh.

"Next up, Victoria Vega!" I cheer loudly as she walks on from the opposite side of the stage and sits down behind a keyboard.

"This one goes out to a very special girl in my life." She starts to slowly play, and my heart flutters.

"_I can finally see that you are right here beside me."_

She looks over at me, before continuing to sing.

"_I am not my own, for I have been made new, please don't let me go, I desperately need you." _

She continues to sing and play, as I watch through my tears. I barely notice as she walks off the stage.

The crowd cheers as something surges through me. Pride. I am so proud to be with this girl. Once the theatre quiets down, I hear the MC's voice cut through the chat, and I tense.

"That was beautiful, next up, is Caterina Valentine!"

She pushes past me without a second glance and hops onto the stage, the usual twinkle in her eye, and I am curious as to what she is going to sing.

"This song also goes out to a very special girl in my life." She glances over at me and throws me a wicked smile.

Heavy guitar blasts out of the speakers.

"_Back in school they never told us what we needed to know, like how to deal with the despair of someone breaking your heart!"_

I stand there, gobsmacked, as Cat screams and sings, about me. Tears began to flow as I listen to the lyrics

_Have another drink and drive yourself home, _

_I hope there's ice on all the roads, _

_and you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt_

_and again when your head goes through the windshield._

_Is that what you call tact?_

_You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back, _

_so let's end this call, and end this conversation._

_Is that what you call a getaway?_

_Tell me what you got away with, _

_cause you left the frays, from the ties you severed_

_when you say best friends means friends forever._

Tears begin to race down, and I hurriedly wipe them away. I can't show vulnerability. Especially not to Cat Valentine. She finishes the song with a growl and basks in glory for a few moments.

She shoves past me and I shiver, she is so cold. And I am nervous. I am usually never nervous, and yet here I am, shaking.

"Well, that was rocking! And now finally, Jadelyn West!"

I breathe in and lean my shoulders back, walking onto the stage, getting the usual Jade West into gear. I pick up the guitar and sling it over my shoulder before strumming.

I begin to play. I can almost feel Cat's eyes boring into me as I begin to sing the song.

Our song.

_I won't regret saying this, this thing, that I'm saying, _

_is it better than keeping my mouth shut? _

_That goes without saying, _

_Call, break, it off._

_Call, break, my own heart._

_Maybe I would've been something you'd be good at._

_Maybe you would've been something I'd be good at._

I continue to sing, tears forming in my eyes, thankful that the audience is so far away from the stage, so they can presume that I am fine. I finish the song and everyone begins to cheer. I give them a half hearted wave and walk off into the waiting arms of Tori.

"Baby, baby it's okay, shhh." She hugs me closer and I break down.

"It hurts so bad."

"I know, I know it does." Tori's arms wrap around me tighter as pain racks through my soul. I claw into her, letting go of my tough girl facade, if only just momentarily.

"Let's go. Now." I growl into her shoulder, needing to escape this place. She nods as I pull away. I grab her hand and begin to pull her through the crowd. Compliments fly towards us as we walk through, but I barely give Tori enough time to smile at them, at the rate that I'm dragging her.

"TORI!" I roll my eyes. Please no, not now. The figure rushes into me and Tori with such force that I crush under their weight.

"Chicas, you were so good!" Andre, the dreadlocked wonder blocks my only path out of this goddamn place.

"Thanks!" Tori replies, not harsh enough to blow off her best friend. I usually don't mind Andre, but right now I don't want anyone to see me this openly vulnerable.

"Beck and I were planning to get some pizza, do you guys want to..." Andre falters.

I glance up and see Tori furiously shaking her head at him and motioning towards me.

"Riight... well, I'll see you guys at school Monday... bye!"

Tori waves and smiles at him, before I begin to pull her off again. I mutter thanks. She squeezes my hand and I can almost feel the fresh air upon me.

It's here. It's all around me, and I take huge gulps of it, trying to steady myself.

We basically run towards her car, I'm just so desperate to get away. I stand at the passenger door, waiting.

"Shit." I hear her mumble, fumbling around in her pockets.

"I can't find my goddamn keys. Or my phone. I must've left them backstage, come on."

But I can't do it. I recoil against the bonnet.

"I can't go back in there, just go."

She stares at me. "I'm not going without you."

I shake my head. "Go. Now. Don't argue with me, please."

She wilts. "I'll be back in a minute." She gives me one last lingering look before running towards the direction of the school.

I sit on the hood of the car and calm myself down. I raise my face towards the sky and listen to the silence. Just as I feel my breathing slow down, I am interrupted.

"Well, look who it is!"

Please Lord no. I look up and there she is. Her red hair tumbling down her back, a pure look of hatred upon her face. Surrounding her were two girls I remember from Karaoke Dokie. Hayley and Tara, or something dumb like that. I can't believe she's hanging with these losers.

Cat steps closer to me and I flinch. I curse myself for letting my guard down. She continues to move closer until we're face to face.

"How dare you sing that song. How fucking dare you."

Ouch. Guess she didn't appreciate that then.

I stare into her eyes, bringing up my defences.

"Don't tell me how to live my life, you don't own me."

She laughs. "Don't worry about that sweetie, I'd rather not have anything to do with your life, but if you continue to do pathetic little things like that because you think it will get my attention, you're sorely mistaken."

I look into her deep brown eyes, hoping to see the familiar glint of friendship, forgiveness. All I see is hatred. No. A flash of pain as I speak.

"Don't worry, I don't want your attention."

I want to hurt her. "Now get the fuck out my face before I destroy you."

Mask back on, face void of emotion. I begin to rise and she backs off.

"Freak." She mutters, dragging those bimbos away.

"Go fuck yourself!" One of the bimbos calls out, and I smirk.

"Don't need to, I have someone to do that for me!" Cat pulls the fingers at me over her shoulder and I can't help but sigh at the pettiness of the situation, but that doesn't help the hurt.

No, Jade, mask on. Walls up.

"I'm back! I'm so sorry it took me forever to find them and I bumped into Trina and oh god I couldn't get away."

Tori fumbles with the lock and I am silent. I curse in advance at the shortness of the trip. As we drive, there is silence. We walk through the front door in silence, we walk up the stairs in yeah, and you guessed it. More silence.

I walk through her bedroom door before she does and she kicks it shut behind her. She sighs, leaning against the door.

She looks at me expectantly but I say nothing, lying back on her bed and staring up at the stars on her ceiling.

I feel her sit down next to me, and she begins to stroke my leg.

I tense.

"Baby."

I can almost hear the exasperation in her voice.

"Talk to me. I saw Cat in the parking lot."

_Damn. _I hoped I wouldn't have to go there.

"We were just having a... uh... friendly chat, that's all." I mutter, never taking my eyes off the ceiling.

I know she's rolling her eyes. I don't even have to look at her and I know. Damn, she's predictable.

"I'm worried about you. And her. You can't let your friendship go down the drain."

I sit up, angrily. "I'm not the one who flushed it away, Tori. I may have been the cause but I never wanted this."

She smiles at my bad pun. She takes my hand and begins to kiss it lightly, her eyes never leaving my face. The rage in me begins to die out, and instead butterflies fly in its place.

She shuffles closer to me and pulls me down to lie next to her. These are the second pair of brown eyes I've stared into tonight, but now I feel totally at ease, so safe, so calm, so... loved.

"I love how I feel when I'm with you." I whisper, our faces so close yet not touching.

"And how's that?"

I go to reply, but there are too many words that will describe how I'm feeling, so I just settle for one.

"Perfect."

She wraps her arms around me and I nestle into the nape of her neck, breathing in her scent and taking in her warmth.

"i love you." She mutters.

"Yeah, I know." We are silent then.

"I love you too."

I pull my head back and she smiles at me, moving closer and she places her lips against mine.

Like I said, perfect.

**Well, I hope that makes up for the lack of drama/Jori in the last chapter. Songs in this chapter were; Meteor Shower – Owl City, Seventy Times Seven – Brand New and Call It Off (This story's namesake) – Tegan and Sara. Please review! Much love xx**


	4. Morning

**Hey y'all! I really hope you enjoyed all the Jori in the last chapter, I know I did. Some smut here in this chapter, just so you're aware :D. **

4.

My eyelids fluttered, the sunlight creeping in like tendrils through the gaps of the bright purple curtains shrouding the windows. I glance to my right and pick up my pearphone. 10:23 am.

"Morning."

Her voice is barely above a whisper, She brushes the tips of her fingers along my spine and I shiver, taking in the touch of her soft skin. I turn around to look at her.

"Good morning. How long have you been awake?"

She shrugs as well as a person can when they're lying on their side. "About an hour."

"Why didn't you get up?"

"I like watching you sleep."

I hold in a chuckle at the creepiness of that sentence, imagining my fist in their face if it was anyone other than Tori. I sit up and stretch my tired muscles.

"That's really creepy, babe."

"And I will always love you."

I grin. A game we play. We think of the cheesiest song lyrics we can and say them to each other like some bad romantic film.

"The words they use so lightly, I only feel for you."

"I can't believe, you actually picked me."

"The more I get to know you, the more I want you close to me."

She smiles at that one, sitting up and getting out of bed, dragging me with her. She pulls me close and our mouths are almost touching. I see the sincerity and love in her eyes as I see her mouth open.

"Oppan Gangnam Style!"

She begins to dance around the room and I can't help but laugh at my crazy girlfriend, leaping around the room in her bunny pyjamas, her hair a mess. I tackle her onto the bed and I hover above her, as we both laugh.

I begin to lean down...

**GRUMBLE GRUMBLE**

Tori blushes and looks away. "Sorry, I guess I'm hungry?"

I kiss her lightly. "C'mon then Psy, let's get you some food, eh?" She laughs and bumps her hip into me as we walk out of her door, holding hands. We stroll down the stairs, swinging our hands

"Good morning girls!" Mrs Vega is moving around the kitchen, frying pan in one hand, bacon in the other.

"Morning mum." Mrs Vega comes up to us and gives us both a hug. I tense at her touch.

She pulls back and looks at me, mildly offended. I feel terrible.

"I'm sorry Mrs Vega, it's not you, I'm just not used to uh... lots of physical contact."

She taps me on the arm playfully. "That's alright Jade, and call me Holly, please. Now, breakfast?"

"Yes please Mrs... Holly." I blush and she smiles at me, motioning towards the lounge.

Tori grabs my hand and she pulls me towards the couch, flicking on the TV and beginning to channel surf.

"There's nothing on!" Tori moans, throwing down the remote in frustration after a few moments. I roll my eyes.

"Give it 'ere." She passes it to me. I begin to flick through, pausing on what looks like a very poor quality horror movie. My favourite. Tori groans.

"Babe, really? C'mon I don't want to watch this!" She tries to grab the remote and I pull it further away from her.

"Baby please!" Oh no. Not the pout. I glance over to her and she's pulling the cutest pout I have ever seen. I scowl at her, letting her know that's it not going to work this time.

The pout deepens. Okay.. maybe it is going to work. I sigh and pass her the remote. She squeals and kisses me on the cheek, turning it over to a music channel. I roll my eyes.

"This will do." She giggles and snuggles up next to me and I relax, breathing her in. She looks up at me with her gorgeous brown eyes and I begin to feel myself being lost in them.

I'm only pulled out when I hear Holly bang down plates on the kitchen island.

"Breakfast is ready!"

Tori jumps up as her stomach growls once more, almost as if it was sensing food was near. "Shhh you, we're going to fill you up right now!" Tori mumbles, rubbing her tummy.

Holly and I laugh and she looks up at us sheepishly. "Stop judging me!"

I rub her arm. "Keep taking the pills, Tor."

The Vegas laugh at that and Tori bares her teeth at me in a growl and I laugh as she begins to scarf down her food like there's no tomorrow.

"Damn Tor that was good!" We're lying on her bed upstairs, her pearpod playing softly in the background. She rolls over to me.

"Heck yeah it was. I am so full." She does a little burp and I chuckle at her.

"So unladylike, say pardon."

"No."

I growl.

A wicked grin appears on her face. "Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Are you challenging me?"

She raises both eyebrows. "Maybe."

"That's it!"

I jump on top of her and begin to tickle her sides.

"No, Jade please!" She begins to squeal and I laugh, tickling her harder.

"That's what you get, say pardon!"

Tori shakes her head. "Never!"

We roll off the bed in a flurry and tears are running down Tori's cheeks from laughter. "Okay, okay I'm sorry!"

I bend down to her, "What was that, babe?"

"Pardon me! Now get off me woman!" I step off her and sit on the bed, laughing as she wipes away the tears.

"You never learn." I say, smoothing out my hair.

Tori looks up at me, a mischievous look on her face. "Oh yeah?"

And then she tackles me.

"Damnit Tori!" she begins to laugh as she gets her revenge, jabbing me in the hips as I begin to struggle, but damn, she's strong.

"Tori get off me! Please!"

I screw my eyes shut and I re open them as Tori stops moving. I open my eyes and she's hanging over me, straddling my waist, her long flowing hair making a wall. Her eyes are full of lust.

She bends down and her lips attack mine. I wrestle her tongue with my own and I roll her over, so I'm now on top of her.

"You like being on top, don't you?" Tori says, pulling away from me.

I laugh. "Hell yeah." I whisper into her ear, beginning to nibble at her ear lobe, hearing her breath accelerate as I begin to kiss down her neck. I grate my teeth softly along her collarbone, her back arching. This is her spot.

"Oh Jade." She moans, her hands roaming along my back.

I slowly slide her top over her head, revealing a lacy purple bra.

"Cute." I state, pulling my top over my head also. I look down at her.

God, she's beautiful, her wanting brown eyes staring at me, her hair dishevelled, her breath heavy, her tanned torso waiting to be touched. I lower my head and continue my trail.

I begin to kiss down her chest to the valley between her breasts, my hands softly stroking them through the lacy material.

I no longer hate bras that do up at the front, I decide, as I easily unclip Tori's bra and her breasts are revealed to me.

Of course this isn't the first time I've seen Tori will minimal amounts of clothing on, but she always manages to take my breath away.

I stare at her, taking in her beauty, deciding on where to start my journey. I decide on her left breast. I kiss around her nipple, but never touching it, making her grumble in protest. I decide I've had enough of teasing her and latch my mouth to her nipple.

I hear a sharp intake of breath.

I begin to suck and bite at her nipple, never too hard, only wanting to cause pleasure not pain. I switch to the other breast and perform the same treatment, as she begins to moan frequently.

I can feel her wetness through her boy shorts, and I begin to slide my hand downwards, into the elastic of her shorts.

"Jade..." She groans, as I begin to tease her, rubbing on the outside of her knickers. I begin to rub faster, and her breathing gets even faster than thought possible, and I know she's getting frustrated. I begin to inch closer to the band of her knickers...

"JADE, YOUR SISTER'S HERE!"

_**What the fuck?**_

**Why hello there, readers ;) very sorry about teasing you all, but I promise more Jori smut will be back shortly, as usual, please rate and review and have a wonderful day. xx**


	5. Breakdown

5.

**Here we go, another chapter, enjoy and R+R please!**

"Shit, shit!" I scramble up, grabbing my top from the floor and hurriedly pulling it over my head.

"I'm so sorry babe!" I say to Tori, who is hooking up her bra again.

She smiles at me sympathetically. She understands what it's like having an annoying older sister.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear." That brightens her smile, and I give her a quick kiss before running down the stairs.

"Thanks for having me Holly."

"Anytime Jade, see you next time!"

I slam my way out the door and come to the car.

"Goddamnit Sonia what the hell's your problem?" I curse at her, sliding into the passenger seat of her car. She says nothing, but she smirks at me.

"Mum wants to talk to you. I offered to pick you up."

My scowl deepens. "Whatever."

We drive home in silence, and the moment we pull into the driveway I jump out of the car, stomping my way inside.

"Jadelyn West." Fuck.

I slowly turn around and there she is, waiting for me.

"Where have you been for the past two nights?"

I roll my eyes. "Talent quest last night, thanks for remembering, mom!"

I put a jolly spin on the last word and her frown lines become more prominent.

"What about afterwards?"

"Tori's house, you know my girlfriend?"

She flinches at that and I smile, satisfied, glad that I'm getting to her.

Or so I think.

Her face becomes a mask of steel again.

"Whatever Jadelyn. I can't be bothered with your pitiful attempts at attention seeking, get out of my face." She flaps her hand at me and I back off, stung.

I shake it off, and shrug.

"Kay." She seems almost shocked at my lack of reaction, but as I walk up the stairs, the cracks begin to show and so do the tears.

Silly mother, I learnt how to create a mask from the best.

I shut the door behind me, grabbing my pearpod and plugging my headphones into it. I come to a playlist I haven't listened to in awhile, the one with all the sad songs in it, my featured favourite when Beck and I broke up. I scan through, looking for the perfect song.

There.

I slowly slide down against my door as the first chords play.

_And you, bring me to my knees, again_

_All the times that I could beg you please in vain._

_All the times that I felt insecure for you._

_And I leave burdens at the door_

_And I'm on the outside, and I'm looking in_

_I can see through you_

_See your true colours_

_Cause inside you're ugly_

_Ugly like me_

_I can see through you_

_See to the real you._

_All the time that I felt like this won't end_

_Was for you._

_And I taste, what I could never have,_

_It's from you._

_All those times, that I tried,_

_My intentions, full of pride._

_And I waste, more time than anyone._

I turn the volume up louder, feeling the guitar rack through my blood and soul.

_All the times that I've cried_

_All that's wasted, it's all inside_

_And I feel all this pain_

_Stuffed it down, it's back again._

_And I lie, here in bed_

_All alone, I can't mend_

_And I feel tomorrow will be okay_

_But I know_

_That I'm on the outside, and I'm looking in_

_I can see through you_

_See your true colours_

_Cause inside you're ugly_

_Ugly like me_

_I can see through you_

_See to the real you._

The song ends and I curl into a ball, everything hitting me at once. Another song begins but I am barely aware of it, too caught up in myself to pay attention to anything else.

I continue to cry, angry guitar drowning out my sobs, this continues for god knows how long, and I am exhausted by the time my eyes are dry.

I lie on my side, still curled up, as slow soft guitar begins to ring through my ears. I close my eyes. Try to block it all out.

I fall into a deep yet uneasy sleep, my dreams hazy and warped. Only one stands out above the rest.

I am running, although I am not sure what from.

"Jade!" I spin around and Cat is standing there, her face lit up in a wide grin, one I hadn't seen in a while.

"Kitty cat! I'm so glad to see you!" I yell, running towards her. But as soon as I'm within reaching distance of her, she moves back further.

Then she's gone.

I look around bewildered. "Cat?"

A terrible pain in my lower back. What the fuck?

I cough, and ruby red blood begins to pour from my mouth. Cat's face appears beside mine, her happy grin turning maniacal.

"This familiar to you, Jadey?" She sweetly says, turning the knife deeper into my back.

I collapse onto the ground, staring at Cat, silently begging her to help me. She laughs and brings the knife to my neck.

"Bye, Jadey!"

I wake up, my eyes snapping open in fear. My throat is dry and my hands scramble over my body, looking and feeling for puncture wounds. I am fine.

I sigh. I'm definitely not going to get to sleep tonight. I glance at my pearpod. 5:13pm. I stretch out my sore muscles and try to shake the thoughts of Cat's face from my mind.

I stand and stretch again, moving over to my window to glance at the driveway. It is empty.

"Thank God." I mutter, opening my door and listening for activity downstairs. Yep, silent, there's no one here.

I walk into the kitchen and see a scrap of paper on the table.

_Gone to Jeremy's for the night, pizza in the fridge xx_

I pick up the paper and screw it up. I never understood Sonia, one minute she was all against me, then the next she was all for me.

Maybe she heard what mum said to me and felt bad. No, I highly doubt it. The West family doesn't do sympathy.

I shrug and bin the paper, not really caring where mum is, and almost hoping she never comes back. I know that if she does tonight, she'll be with someone, and/or she'll be off her face.

Again.

I grab the pizza from the fridge and go back upstairs. I sit at my desk, opening my laptop and beginning to eat the pizza. I probably should heat it up, but I really can't be bothered so I enjoy it cold instead.

I log into The Slap, hoping to distract myself for a while before I can sleep.

_Robbie Shapiro – Rex just threw me into the pool, not cool man! 15 minutes ago_

I laugh to myself and like it, enjoying Robbie's displeasure.

I read the comments, seriously bored.

_Beck Oliver – That sucks man, although a little funny 10 minutes ago_

_Andre Harris – funny? Don't you mean hilarious? :P 8 minutes ago_

_Robbie Shapiro – Thanks for the support guys! (Not.) 7 minutes ago_

_Tori Vega – Oh come on guys, play nice! 5 minutes ago_

_Robbie Shapiro – Thanks Tori, want to come help me dry off? ;) 3 minutes ago_

I scowl, deciding to join in

_Jade West – Shapiro, are you hitting on my girlfriend? 2 minutes ago_

_Robbie Shapiro – Um no of course not jade... um gtg bye! 2 minutes ago_

_Tori Vega – Aw babe you know he was just joking, and I'd never accept anyway, I'd help you dry off any day though ;) 1 minute ago_

_Jade West – I'm waiting ;) 1 minute ago_

_Andre Harris – Woah guys keep it PG rated! Just now_

I laugh, getting worked up at the thought of Tori and I together. I inwardly scowl again at Sonia for interrupting us.

I get lost in a video game, I always had a big problem with gaming, and now I was so caught up I didn't hear the front door open or close.

"C'mon skeleton, die Goddamnit!" My witch doctor attacks the skeleton a few more times, and it finally falls to the ground, defeated.

"Oh thank the lord." Damnit Diablo 3, why are you so addicting?

I realise I'm incredibly thirsty, so I pause the game, venturing downstairs, mentally fighting over lemonade or orange juice.

I don't hear them till it's too late.

"C'mon Charlotte, let's get you sitting and a glass of water in you."

A foreign male voice. I freeze, sliding up against the wall at the foot of the stairs, knowing that when the man ventures into the kitchen, I will be spotted. I turn and begin to slide up the stairs.

"Hi there!"

Damn.

I turn around and a smiling man is standing at the bottom of the stairs. Tall, blonde hair, shining blue eyes. He looks harmless enough, but it's always the harmless looking ones that do the most harm.

I scowl at him, and he laughs.

"Char, you never told me you had a daughter."

He looks back at me.

"A very pretty one, in fact."

I hear footsteps and my mother dearest stumbles up to us, glaring at me,

She waves her hand at me, dismissing me like she had earlier.

"Yeah this is Jade, she's..."

She struggles to find the words so I decide to help her out.

"A failure? A disappointment? A lesbian? An attention seeking-"I am cut off by the man's cough.

"Now Jade, I'm sure you're not any of those things, I'm Mike, by the way, I work with your mother."

I sigh and continue to walk up the stairs again.

"They never stay for long, you know."

I turn to look at him.

"Men, I mean, she all gets sick of them, be careful!"

"You little-!" Mum tries to run after me, but I laugh as Mike pulls her back towards the lounge, he is still looking at me and he raises an eyebrow.

I laugh again and walk up to my room, triumphant.

Damn. I'm still thirsty.


	6. Write

**Hey **** this chapter is quite a bit lighter than the others, just thought that we need a break from the doom and gloom. (In the beginning at least)**

6.

_Mum's new man?_

_Why hello, everyone. It is currently 11:35pm and I am stuck in my room, because the she-devil and her new beau are downstairs doing God knows what. I'm also really thirsty. If there's anyone awake at this time that's actually bothering to read my pointless blog entries, please come save me? Until then, I'm going to enjoy The Scissoring for the billionth time and cry over my parched throat so... please? Even if you are a serial killer, I do not mind, as long as you bring me some orange juice first. _

_Jade_

I click post and hope to God someone comes to my rescue; hoping people are still awake and is scrolling through blogs. Unless it's Sinjin. I'll just die of dehydration, I don't mind.

It's 11:45 now, still no replies but a few likes, and still no drink. I guess I could wait until they're in bed, but even then it's still unsafe. No way do I want to venture back down.

But I'm going to have to. I take a huge deep breath to help me raise my courage and begin to slowly creak open my bedroom door.

_Clink_

Yes! The familiar sound of a stone against my bedroom window. I spin around and head over, pleading that it's not Sinjin.

"Heard you were thirsty?" Beck is down there, straddling his bicycle.

"Where's your bike?" I ask, as he leaps off and begins the climb upwards.

"Getting worked on." A bottle of juice appears on the windowsill, with Beck's head popping up next to it.

"There you go, ma'am."

I smile. "Thank you, my knight in crumpled armour, on your trusty... err bicycle."

Beck salutes. "See you tomorrow, you owe me."

"Yeah, yeah." I smile at him to show him I'm joking and he leaps down, giving me a quick wave and riding off into the night.

I close the window and sit down at my laptop, smiling.

_Update!_

_Thank the lord for my knight in crumpled armour, wheeling his way to a young maiden to quench her thirst. Thank you Beckett, have a wonderful sleep._

_Jade_

I close my laptop and turn off my light, snuggling down into my bed, grateful that they're on the other side of the house, and I shall basically sleep in peace.

Oh, except for the fact that I keep seeing Cat slitting my throat every time I close my eyes.

Little things.

_**Line Break**_

"Hey babe." I say, settling into the passenger seat next to Tori, holding out a coffee for her.

"Hey, what happened when you got home?" She says, concern flooding her eyes.

Ugh. Not something I want to talk about. So I shrug and push on some sunglasses.

"Nothing, mum was just being her usual bitchy self, brought a guy home. Was stuck upstairs."

Tori grabs my hand and rubs her thumb along it.

"Sorry I couldn't bring you anything, Trina got home at ten last night without telling anyone where she had been, so mum and dad put the house on lockdown, basically."

I smile at her. "All good, Beck brought me some OJ."

A scowl appears on her face. "Yeah. I saw."

"Tori, are you jealous?"

She scowls again. "No."

"Really? Cause it seems like you are."

"I am not jealous of Beck Oliver!"

I roll my eyes. "You have no reason to be jealous, babe. He is just a friend. I have no feelings at all for him. I only have feelings for you." I say the last part softly, and her scowl begins to break apart and is replaced by a small smile.

"Promise?" Her voice is quiet.

"Promise, now come on woman, we have a school to get to."

_**LINE BREAK**_

"Bye baby, see you second hour." I mutter, kissing Tori softly by her locker. I see two girls nearby pointing at us and whispering.

"What?!" I yell at them, and they scatter off like mice, terrified.

Tori frowns up at me. "Hey, that was mean."

I sigh. "They were pointing. Pointing is rude."

She puts her hands on her hips and I can tell I'm going to get told off.

"Wow is that the time gotta run bye babe!" I peck her and rush down the corridor. I may be labelled as the scary chick, but Tori when she's mad is a lot scarier.

I open the door to screenwriting and slump down in my chair at the back, pulling out my pearpod and putting a headphone in my ear.

"Ew." I look up at Cat's walking in, coming towards me with a knife... no she's going to sit down in the row in front of me. Boy, I'm paranoid.

I set my face in its usual scowl of indifference and begin to doodle on my page; I'm in the middle of colouring in the blood pouring from my torso when the teacher says something that catches my attention.

"Alright, your project for the next week. You and a partner..."

I stick up my hand and she glares at me.

"No Jade, you can't work alone."

I sigh and she continues.

"As I was saying, you and a partner must write a script with suspense and a twist ending. Please try to shy away from the whole 'they were the same person the whole time!' cliché, please, it's terribly overdone. This is due next Friday. You must perform it to myself and the whole class. No longer than ten minutes long. Alright, here are the partners."

I zone out again, shading in the blood, when I hear something that makes me drop my pencil in shock.

"And Cat and Jade."

"No!" I say, before I can stop myself. Cat whips her hand up.

"Miss, please can't I work with someone else?"

The teacher purses her lips, and shakes her head. "No, no one can switch their partners. Toughen up kids, back in my day..."

The whole class groans and begin to move off to their respective partners.

I refuse to move. She must come over to me.

We both sit apart, when finally she sighs and grabs her bag and slams it on the desk next to mine.

I smile. I win.

She looks at me and taps her nails expectantly on the table, waiting for my attention.

I continue to colour, poking out my tongue in concentration. I feel her move closer and glance over my shoulder.

"What is that?" She snaps at the picture.

"Well..." I hold it up and point at it. "This here is you, stabbing me in the torso, and this is me trying to keep my guts from spilling out, like it?"

"No!" She spits out. Then she looks at it again.

"Actually yeah, I do. But Christ, you're pathetic."

I shrug. "Thanks, I grew it myself."

She sighs again. "What are we going to do for the script?"

"I don't know, I don't care, and can we just get it done so I can get away from you as soon as possible?"

She rolls her eyes. "Like I said fucking pathetic, get over yourself."

My mask is on so well right now I feel invincible.

I smirk at her and I can tell she's getting mad.

I decide to play nice.

"Fine, how about a woman's husband has died, so she takes all the insurance money, and then it turns out he's not actually dead..."

"That's not a very good twist."

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "I'm not done. Anyway, so the woman and her husband are celebrating, when the detective shows up, dropping off her wallet of something, I don't know, and the man goes to shoot the detective but the detective gets in first, and ends up killing him. Big court drama whatever, the detective goes to arrest the woman, but it turns out he was in on it all along and it was all a plan to get her away from her husband so they could be together."

Cat almost looks at me approvingly. "Okay, that's pretty good."

I almost smile at her, but not quite.

She writes it down and for the rest of the lesson, we actually get along. I feel myself warming up to her.

I glance up at the clock. A minute to go and I take a deep breath. It's now or never.

"Cat..."

_**RING RING**_

"Oh thank the lord. I was near topping myself." She rips the paper from the desk and stuffs it in her bag, joining her other friends.

She walks out, not even glancing my way.

I sit there, gobsmacked. I thought we were getting somewhere.

I feel tears growing in the corners of my eyes.

No. Keep it in.

"_You just have to keep it in."_

**Please rate and review and have a wonderful rest of your day xx**


	7. ABC

**A fill in chapter of sorts, building up to big blow over and lots of drama, please R+R :D I've decided to upload two chapters today, just because I don't want to end on this one.  
**

7.

Tori and I walk over to our table at the Asphalt cafe, swinging our hands before sitting down next to everyone. They greet us and I wave back, beginning to pick at my salad as I drove out the chatter around me, coming in at points.

"No way are they real bro!"

"Nah, they're definitely real."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"New teacher. Her rack. Real or not real?"

Tori glances over to the teacher at our left.

"Those cannot be real."

I get curious and look over for myself. Wow.

"They're huge, but they're real. Definitely."

Andre goes to high five me for agreeing with him and I grudgingly accept.

The conversation drifts off to another topic and I feel myself zone out again, caught up in my thoughts.

"Babe... babe!" Tori was waving her hand in front of my face, trying to get my attention.

"Sorry, I was internalising some really complicated situations in my head."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Riight... So, do you want to come to mine after school?"

I would usually jump at the chance to spend time with Tori, but I didn't really feel like spending time with others.

"Um, I think I'll pass babe, I uh don't feel too well and I have a script to work on for screenwriting."

I forgot to mention it was with Cat.

"Oh baby, are you sure you don't need me to look after you?"

I shake my head. "I'm sure I'll be fine I just-"

I pause.

Something is sniffing my hair.

"Sinjin, if you don't move away in the next three seconds, I will rip out your throat in 1... 2..."

He scuttles away and I shudder, brushing off my shoulder.

"Need to rest?" Tori finishes for me.

"Yeah. That."

She shuffles closer to me and leans on my shoulder.

"To be fair, your hair does smell really good."

Everyone at the table laughs at that, I allow myself a little smile and kiss the top of Tori's head, glad that the day is coming to an end.

The bell rings and we all head off to Sikowitz' class, and I'm glad I can finish the day on my favourite class.

We all walk in and we sit in our usual seats. I glance over at Cat, hoping she'll look over at me, but no.

We all watch Sikowitz as he catapults himself through the window, standing up and grabbing the coconut from beside the whiteboard.

"Good afternoon, class!"

We all mutter our greetings and he frowns at us.

"C'mon everyone, get your energy levels- DRIVE BY ACTING EXCERCISE, YOU'RE ALL NINJA SAMURAIS THAT ARE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT!"

Everyone leaps up and I roll my eyes, how does he come up with this stuff?

I start a mock fight with Beck, raising my left leg in a kick before doubling over.

"Why did I agree to continue being a ninja?!"

I watch Tori as she stuffs a pillow up her top and trying to roll over ninja style, before getting stuck.

"Oh my baby!"

"Alright, that was great everyone. Now, ABC improv, Jade, Tori, Andre, Cat, Beck, go!"

We all jump up on stage, although I stand as far away from Cat as possible.

"Robbie, give us a letter!"

"Uh, F!"

"Beck, begin!"

"Far out guys, that teacher."

Andre continues. "Good golly gosh those were some knockers."

"Hell yeah they were." Tori nods.

"I never saw them." Cat stated.

"Just wait, you'll see them eventually." My turn.

"Kissing, what a great thing." Beck again.

"Lovely kissing."

"Mostly on the weekends though."

"No, you can do it every day."

I wink at Tori. "Oh yes, I prefer it every day."

"PG rated, have you forgotten?"

"Right!"

"Andre, the letter was q! You're out!"

Andre sits down, "Alright Tori, q!"

"Quick, kiss me Jade, we must break through the social barriers!"

"Really? This is pathetic."

"Shut up, you've turned into such a bitch."

"Tori, calm Jade down please."

"I can't!

"Tori, the letter was U! You're out! Cat, U!"

"Underneath it all, you're still just a cold hearted witch."

"Very unlikely sweetie, you're just bitter."

"Woah guys, calm it down."

"Xena the warrior princess should rip your head off.."

"You've become a nasty nasty girl Caterina Valentine, just because you didn't get your way."

"Zoology is the study of animals!"

"Alright that's enough! Sit down."

Cat stomps past me and goes to sit in the back. I sit down, triumphant. Tori leans over to me.

"Jade, that was a bit harsh." I turn my head to look at her.

"Don't you dare start on me, I cannot be bothered with this right now."

"You can never be bothered! You always want to fix things then you go and make shit worse because you can never ever be vulnerable."

I snort. "Vulnerability is for the weak."

Tori slowly shakes her head. "No, you're the weak one."

She picks up her bag and stomps out the door. Sikowitz glances up, takes a sip of coconut then looks back down.

"Sikowitz, aren't you going to grab her?" Beck says, motioning towards the closing door.

Sikowitz shrugs. "The coconut has spoken, we leave her be."

Beck looks at me questioningly and I sigh and shake my head, putting my headphones in and counting down the minutes to go.

_**LINE BREAK**_

As I step off the bus, I notice an unfamiliar car in the driveway. Probably one of Sonia's mates.

I step inside and walk into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water before turning towards the stairs.

"Hello again."

No freaking way.

That guy from last night is standing in the lounge. What was his name? Murphy, Malcolm... No, Mike. That was it.

"Um, hi."

Awkward silence.

"How was scho-"

"No offense, but why are you here?" I snap, crossing my arms, expecting a reaction.

A blank face looks back at me.

"I didn't want to abandon your mother while she was like that, so I slept on the couch."

I don't show the approval on my face. Two can play at this emotionless game.

"Why are you still here though?"

Nope, not even a flinch.

"She isn't awake yet."

I roll my eyes. "Bloody typical."

He chuckles and I raise my eyebrows at him.

"So, are you like, a permanent thing or just a guy who felt sorry for her?"

He shrugs at me. "I don't know, I'm fond of your mother, but I'll take your warnings in mind."

I smile at that, tilting my head and trying to figure him out.

"So I didn't scare you off then?"

He laughs. "You're not very scary compared to things I've had to deal with before."

"Like my drunk mother?"

He laughs again. "No. Even worse than that."

I almost want to ask him about it, but considering this is only the second time we've met and we're basically strangers, I feel it isn't appropriate.

I turn on my heel and begin to walk up the stairs.

"It was fine by the way, thanks." I yell down, walking into my room.

I close the door behind me and think about the mysterious man downstairs.

What was he hiding behind that mask?

**Sorry about the shortness of that chapter, the next will be a lot longer. What do y'all think of Mike's character so far? He's been hiding in my thoughts for a while and i decided to bring him in. Next chapter will be up now :)  
**


	8. IT

**Hopefully this chapter makes up for the lack of good stuff in the last one, please enjoy 3  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or Stephen King's 'IT' (although that'd be great.)**

8.

The next morning when I wake, everything is a little darker than usual. I guess that I'm just tired, but something else is bothering me also, although I can't quite put my finger on it.

I glance out the window. Oh, it's raining. That could contribute to the darkness, I suppose.

I stay upstairs for as long as I can, delaying getting ready until the last minute, not wanting to go to school.

And something inside me clicks.

I won't go to school today.

But it's a Tuesday. Tuesdays are mine and Tori's days.

I have a battle within myself, deciding on whether to go or not. I had never bailed on her before, and I don't want to start.

But last time I saw her she was pissed at me, and didn't look like she wanted to talk to me anytime soon.

Tuesday's were also bus days, because Trina had some fucked up ritual of wearing heels every Tuesday and 'simply couldn't walk to school in heels!' So Tori had to take her, as Trina had lost her license for drunk driving.

God, I hated her.

Tori always offered to come pick me up a little before the usual time since Trina took so long getting ready, but I refused because as previously mentioned, I hated Trina.

I decide to call Tori.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"I was just wondering... are we on for today?"

She sighs. "I can't believe you'd even ask that."

"I'm sorry, I should've known since you were mad..."

"It's not that. It's just sad how you think that I'd cancel on you, just because we had a tiny tiff. Do you really have that little faith in our relationship, Jade?"

"I just-"

"No, you know what? No. We're not on for today. Since you think that I'm so pathetic and would cancel on something we've been doing for god knows how long."

And she hangs up.

My first reaction is to roll my eyes. How dramatic. But then I think over what she said. Was I that insecure in our relationship that I thought that one fight (not even a fight) would ruin a special thing between us?

I am now unsure. The one thing I am sure of is that I'm not going to school.

The front door slams. I hear her car start and drive off. I didn't see her once yesterday. Mike left sometime after she woke late afternoon.

Mike.

Why was I so obsessed with this man? He seemed like such an average Joe, but there was something hidden behind that relaxed smile, I was sure of it.

I walk downstairs, practicing my coughing and sick sounds.

"Why are you still home?" Sonia and her boyfriend are sitting at the kitchen table, happily crunching bowls of cereal.

"Feel like hell."

Sonia nods, then looks at me questioningly.

"It's a Tuesday, don't you have a princess to see?" Sonia always calls Tori a princess, but in the most derogatory way possible. Usually I would snap at her, but today I just shrug my shoulders.

"She called it off. I'm just going to hide in my room all day."

Sonia shrugs and goes back to her cereal, being all cutesy with Jeremy. I grab a bottle of orange juice and a yoghurt, leaping back up the stairs two at a time.

I kick the door shut, setting up my DVD player, getting ready to watch, yep, you guessed it, The Scissoring. Not the first one, but the third. Just as good as the first, if not better, in fact.

I am so engrosed in watching the prissy blonde girl getting her jaw sliced in half that I don't notice my bedroom door open.

"Really Jade, again?" Sonia is looking at me, rolling her eyes.

"Fifteenth time, biatch."

She sighs. "Okay, um we're going out, don't burn the house down or anything."

I dismiss her with a flap of the hand and she closes the door behind her, leaving me to my movie.

By the time the movie ends I am laughing with glee and I clap as the credits begin to roll up the screen. What? I know you're judging me, but seriously it is such a good movie.

I think about watching the fourth one but I don't think I'll be able to concentrate for that long so I plug my pearpod in and look for a book instead.

I can't find a good book on my bookshelf, or under my bed, so I head into the spare room, where we throw things we don't want anymore or get bored of. I look through several boxes before I find a book I hadn't seen for a few years.

I found Stephen King's 'IT' in an op shop, for a dollar. Well two, technically. I had been looking for it forever, and I still remember the day I finally got it. I was just ten.

"_Mama, mama I found it!"_

_I run up to my mother, holding the book excitedly in my hands, shaking it in front of her. _

_She tuts and laughs. "Oh Jadey, I always knew you'd take after your fathers dark sense of humor." I grin wider at her._

"_How much is it baby? Oh two dollars, that's ridiculous for such an old book! I'll just grab my card..."_

_I tug at her dress and point to the cash register._

_**NO CARDS, SORRY.**_

_She sighs, and begins to look around in her purse for some change, and I have already given up. My mama is famous for never having change. She hates it. If she has some she'll give it away immediately._

"_Aha!" She pulls some money from the bottom of her bag. "A dollar!"_

_She continues to look around but I walk back to the book section, knowing she'll never find another dollar._

_I hear footsteps behind me and my mother is standing behind me. _

"_Find a book that's a dollar, baby." I glance around the shelves, and find a random book with a dollar label on it._

"_Shhh." She says, motioning a finger over her lips._

_She swiftly pulls the label off each book and swaps them over. She passes 'IT' back to me, with a new fresh dollar label on it._

"_Go on, buy it, I don't want you to miss out, but it will just be our little secret, okay?" She winks._

_I nod, and walk up to the counter, sure that the lady at the register will notice and I'll be arrested. But the woman takes the dollar and tells me to have a nice day and I walk out._

_My mama grabs my hand and smiles down at me._

"_Thank you mama!"_

_She bends down and kisses the top of my head._

"_Anything for my baby girl."_

As I snap out of the flashback, I find tears streaking down my face. God, I've been emotional lately.

I look at the cover of the book, fingering the dog eared cover, looking as if it had been read every day for the past twenty years. In reality I hadn't touched it for over four years now, but I cannot remember why.

It all comes back as I open the first page and see the two individual messages scrawled on the inside cover and first page.

_Jade, How glad I am you have finally found it! You just came up to me in adorable pigtails, demanding that I signed your book so you could sell it when we were famous. I hope you love the book just as I did when I was younger, but don't hesitate to call me for cuddles if you need them when you're ever worried. I love you forever, Dad._

_Hello baby, I just read your dad's message and I couldn't help but laugh, as you said the exact same thing to me. You hold very high hopes for us, even me, who's tone deaf! Just wanted to leave you a quick message for when you're older and passing this on to your children, or for when you're feeling down and you need a boost. Just know that you mean the world to me, my beautiful Jadelyn, and I love you with all my heart. Love Mama. Ps. I second the cuddles bit! _

I got rid of the book when the last fight ended in broken glasses and a packed suitcase. When the messages on the inside of the book didn't cheer me up.

When I called for the cuddles and they never came.

When mama started telling me to grow up.

When dad never called again.

This book was just a reminder of horrible nights filled with pillows squishing over my ears, trying to block out the screaming, the arguing and swearing.

I still have no idea as to when everything began to go downhill, but when the first real argument happened, I was too young to click at how serious it was, and how serious it would turn out to be.

I read the messages over and over, rocking myself into peace, like somehow the messages would make the fighting go away.

The day dad left, I wanted to shove the book into my mother's face and ask her why this didn't help anymore, why she wasn't there. Why dad would lie to me about loving me forever. Why she lied.

But the day my father left, he left with her heart. She became cold, ignoring me and terrifying the living hell out of Sonia, who was fourteen when this all happened. Sonia began to rebel, getting drunk and getting high, fighting with my mother every night.

Sonia taught me to be strong. Mother showed me how to build a mask.

They ended up being the perfect pair.

Mother turned to God, or as I believe, the liquor cabinet. She began to impose new rules, telling us we had to go to church with her every Sunday, read passages from the bible every night, and to get rid of all other reading material.

I refused, and for some reason, Sonia didn't. She probably felt as if it was her fault for driving mother to this.

Then she got sucked in. Sonia kept some of her sanity, mother lost hers a long time ago, and the rest got lost to faith. Unfortunately faith didn't turn her into a loving a mother, or even a mother. She grew angry with my choices, telling me the arts was a waste of time, even though she knew it was something I wanted to do since I was tiny.

She started telling me I was a disappointment, a failure, I was my father.

I haven't seen him for four years. I keep hoping that he's been trying to see me but my mother won't allow him to. I keep praying that one day my phone will ring and he'll be on the other end, telling me he's missed me but he never gave up because he cared so much. Asking me to live with him, asking me to forgive him, and that he will love me forever.

I am still waiting.

The day I brought home Tori and introduced her as my girlfriend, my mother cried. She wailed and weeped about how I was turning to the Devil, just to spite her. She told me she'd pray for me, and that I should pray for myself. That I should pray to God to change me.

Once I refused and told her she was insane and that I loved Tori, she became colder than ever before.

She only talked to me to insult me, or our relationship. She didn't ask me questions, unless they were enquiries on where I had been for the past week, because she felt she had to keep up appearances.

At church Sunday mornings she would become a bright, cheery, responsible mother with only one daughter that wasn't me, and then on Sunday nights, she would get drunk and sleep with strangers.

Sometimes, I really hated her.

I throw the book down on the ground in frustration, hidden memories coming back to resurface, even though I really didn't want them to.

I clench my fists tight and try to slow down my breathing, trying to collect myself before pent up anger began to flow freely through my veins.

I pick the book up once more, walking slowly, deliberately into my room, softly shutting the door behind me.

I lay on my bed, skipping the first two pages, diving into the book that had me so terrified yet so enthralled as a child.

I begin to find similarities throughout the book. 'IT' is only there for the children. 'IT' is everywhere, and the children cannot escape from 'IT'. 'IT' is a monster.

I realise have my own personal 'IT'.

'IT' is me.

**Phew, that was a chapter! A tiny bit longer than usual, but not by much. Just thought Jade needed her back story, so here we are. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, more drama to come. Have a fantastic day. xx**


	9. Dream

9.

**Just a warning, this chapter is quite violent, and involves character deaths (All in a dream sequence though)**

It is the worst dream of my life.

I am sitting in a chair in the middle of an empty dark room, screaming for help. My arms are bound around the back of the chair; my body slumped over in defeat.

"Jade?! Jade where are you?! Yell to me, baby!"

Tori. She's here to save me.

"Tori! Help me please!"

I hear footsteps and I try to squint through the darkness, looking for any hint of my salvation.

"Oh my god Jade! We've been so worried!"

Tori is behind me, untying my hands, releasing them. I smile.

"C'mon baby let's go before he realises you're gone."

Tori steps in front of me and reaches for my arm, ready to pull me to safety.

I smile at her. "Now, why would we want to do that?"

And before she can say another word, her throat is slit, as I bring up the scissors and slice along her neck. Her body collapses to the ground in a pool of red, and I step over her, walking up the basement steps.

Cat stands at the top of the stairs, excited to see me, before her face changes to confusion, as I quickly dive the scissors deep into her torso.

She looks up at me with pain in her eyes and I shrug. "Payback's a bitch."

As she falls, I kick her aside and continue my warpath. No one will be spared.

Beck's usually perfectly white teeth are stained red as I rip his jaw wide, his face permanently locked in a smile.

Robbie's limbs are pulled off one by one, just as his stupid puppet's are.

Andre chokes to death, coughing up blood until his pretty voice is no longer.

Trina gets a high heel shoved right through her forehead. Brilliant.

Sonia is pushed down stairs, onto a bed of nails, impaling her in every way.

And then the finale. I walk into my lounge and she is there, talking to a man with no face and no recognisable features.

"Jadelyn!" It is my father. He has become so unfamiliar to me. The anger and neglect rise inside my soul. He steps closer to me, his arms outstretched, but he gets no further.

I see myself through his eyes; the sides of my mouth are cut upwards, so that my mouth is always smiling. I see the gasoline can in one hand, the lighter in the other.

"You don't have to do this, Jadelyn, everything will be right, just pass me the gasoline, and then the lighter, don't do something you'll regret for life."

I break down, passing him the gasoline can. His eyes widen. My mouth is still in a smile.

The can is empty. I flick the lighter.

We begin to burn, and I laugh and cheer in glee and my mother and father burn, screaming and running through the house. They collapse onto the ground, now just large balls of flame, and I walk through the flames, invincible, watching everything I've ever known burn to the ground.

It is the best dream of my life.

"What the fuck?!" I wake, suddenly rising in my bed, my eyes wide and much to my distaste, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead.

I flick on my bedside lamp and look down at my hands. They are shaking uncontrollably. I reach for the orange juice beside my bed and open the lid, slowly bringing it to my lips, trying to control my breathing, trying to calm down.

Inhale. Exhale. Rinse and repeat.

I continue to sit there, my breathing finally slowing; my hands slowly stop to shake. I glance at my clock, it is 11:45pm, and I groan.

I have been asleep for forty five minutes, and that happened. I don't think I can continue to sleep any further, so I decide to head downstairs and watch a movie.

I grab my juice and pearphone, shuffling downstairs, a hand raking through my hair, my mind tumbling over my dream. The light is on downstairs, which means someone is awake; I pray that it isn't mother dearest.

It isn't.

"Hey Jade." Mike is sitting on the armchair, watching a baseball game.

"Why are you here?" I snap. Christ, I'm nasty.

He sighs. "I'm dating your mother. So here I am."

I scowl. "Since when?"

"First night I was here."

"Doesn't mean you have to be here. I didn't hear you when _she_ got home." And it was true, she got home when I was halfway through my book, I was sorely tempted to shove it in her face, but I controlled myself and then I turned on my pearpod.

"I came over for dinner, which you didn't make an appearance in. I was about to head off to bed."

"I don't eat dinner with her, ever. I try to avoid her as often as I can."

He looks at me questioningly, so I shake my head at him and sit on the couch opposite, not letting him put me off my TV mission.

"So, why are you awake?"

"Had a dream where I was killing everyone I've ever known in many different violent ways, you?"

I say it so casually, like I was eating a sandwich, that it takes a moment for him to regain his composure.

"Uh... just can't sleep. So does that happen often?"

I shake my head. "Nope, usually other people killing me. So it was a nice change." I grin at him.

Surprisingly enough, he grins back. "I love it."

He notices the look of shock on my face.

"Oh! I didn't mean killing people! Just getting revenge. Not of the killing kind, I'm not endorsing you killing people, but I mean... never mind."

"Chill out, I know you're not some serial killer." I pause. "Okay I actually don't know that for sure, but I'm sure if you were you would've killed me already."

He thinks about this for a second. "This is true, good thinking, kid. Want to watch a movie?"

I nod and motion for him to pick one out, praying he doesn't choose something from mum's collection. He looks at the shelves of DVDs, scanning them over, confusion flooding his face.

"Well, you have quite a selection." He proves his point by holding The Sound of Music in one hand and Hostel Part Two in the other.

I explain to him. "Top shelf is mums, middle is Sonia's, and bottom is mine."

He nods in understanding, putting down The Sound of Music immediately and beginning to scan through mine and Sonia's DVDs.

Sonia's movies weren't bad, mostly comedies and thrillers, except for a few soppy dramas and some kids movies. My shelf was filled with horrors, thrillers and more horrors. Oh, and the occasional comedy.

"What do you like, Jade?" He asks, genuine curiosity filling his face. I can't help but roll my eyes.

"Take a guess."

"Horror?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

He smirks at me. "Very funny. Well, I like comedy so I'll get one that's both. He grabs a DVD from my shelf and I hold high hopes, since it is mine, and everything. He holds it up to me and looks at me in approval.

Shaun of the Dead. Excellent. It is one of my absolute favourites. I nod and he puts the DVD in, sitting back on the armchair as I curl up.

We both laugh at the same parts and he never turns away when blood is shown. I feel myself warming to him, but I try to shut that down, knowing it will only end in him leaving like the others, and I refuse to get attached to someone so easily. That was always my biggest problem. I get attached too easily. It ends in me hurting.

Sometime during the movie, my tiredness overcomes my fear of dreaming like that again, and I fall asleep.

I sleep dreamlessly. I wake in my bed. As I get up, I realise I don't remember how I got up here, since I fell asleep on the couch. I realise with embarrassment that Mike must've carried me upstairs, and I cringe. I should probably go to school today, but I want to be okay with Tori, so I call her.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Fine, just tired, where were you yesterday?"

"I felt like crap, so I decided to take the day off."

"Oh, right."

An awkward silence and I cringe once more. We never have awkward silences.

"Listen, Tor, I'm so sorry for the way I was acting."

She exhales a sigh of relief. "No, babe I'm sorry, I took it out of proportion."

"Please don't blame yourself, I was being a bitch. I can't wait to see you."

"It's okay, I'll be there usual time, I love you."

"Love you too."

I hang up, glad that we're okay, now really excited to see her. I happily swing my way downstairs, glancing in the driveway and seeing it as empty. That's good because it means she's gone, but at the same time I feel sad because it also means Mike is gone. I really enjoyed his company last night.

I shake it off and grab some water and an apple, heading back upstairs, deciding to dress up for Tori.

I straighten my hair until it's dead straight, then I curl my turquoise locks, making them stand out even more than usual. I apply a light coat of foundation, before curling my lashes and outlining my eyes, finishing by brushing silver onto my eyelids.

I smile at my reflection, pleased with it, before choosing an outfit. I decide to venture a bit, putting on a long sleeved, button up, bright purple chiffon top that hung lower at the back, and black skinny jeans. I knew Tori liked me in colour. I push aside my usual combats, deciding on a pair of silver and black wedge ankle boots. I slick on some lip gloss just as I hear Tori honk. I slide on my sunglasses and walk downstairs, grabbing my bag and heading out the door.

I know she's watching me as I shimmy my way over to her car, opening the passenger door and stepping in, pushing my sunglasses onto my head and leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

"Hey baby." I say. She is watching me as I apply another layer of shine to my lips.

"You look hot. Wear colour more often." She states, turning away and starting her car, a furious blush flowing over her cheeks.

"Thanks." She glances over and I wink at her, as she grabs my hand and puts it on her leg.

I feel really, properly good for the first time in days as we get out, intoxicated by her presence. We walk into school, our hands intertwined, and she kisses me softly as she drops me off at my locker before walking to her own.

I open up my scissor covered locker, a slight chill going through me as I remember my dream, switching my books around before closing it again, ready to head to Tori.

Cat is walking towards her, but she is not scowling, she is not stomping, she is not swearing.

She has the usual bounce in her step. I narrow my eyes, wondering if she's acting, so she can attack.

"Hey Tor!" She exclaims, tinkling her fingers.

"Hey Kitty Cat!" Tori responds, flinging her arms around her in a hug.

They separate and begin to talk and laugh. What the hell has happened in the space of a bloody day?

I don't realise that I crush the pen in my hand until it falls to the floor in pieces.


	10. Mask

10.

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN VICTORIOUS OR ANY OTHER TV SHOW/MOVIE/SONG OR NOVEL MENTIONED IN THIS STORY UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED.**

I will not show weakness. I will not show pain. I will not cry. That's my new motto.

I refuse to go over there, to show my face. I refuse to let Tori play her little game of matchmaker, to let her pretend that she's a fucking guidance councillor.

And so I do not.

I walk out to Asphalt, a neutral expression on my face. Shapiro walks past me with Rex, who wolf whistles. I immediately whip around, ready to rip the limbs straight off that stupid puppet, but my dream resides in my mind and I shudder, freezing in my spot, watching Shapiro scurry off.

I sigh, walking onwards, not to anywhere in particular, just needing to get away from people everywhere.

A couple of kids say hi to me and I do my signature scowl, and for some reason that brings smiles to their faces. I guess it's just part of their usual every day stuff in their mundane lives, and the day would be out of whack if even something as small as me scowling didn't occur.

I find the furthest table away from everyone as I can, glancing at my pearphone and seeing we still have another fifteen minutes until bell. Why does Tori get to school so early?

I pull out my headphones and begin to listen to music, just taking in the fresh air and lack of company. I pass through a few songs, before a headphone is pulled out from my ear.

"Hey I found you!"

I turn and Tori's cool touch is brushing through the fabric on my shoulder. I feel like snapping at her and confronting her about Cat, but for some reason I don't want to hurt her.

Why hurt her and me at the same time when I can just skip the part about her and focus on hurting myself inside?

"Oh hey, sorry I ran off like that babe."

She sits down, concern filling her features. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just feel a bit sick, needed some fresh air." I mutter, raising my head up and inhaling deeply.

She wraps her arms around me, satisfied with that explanation.

"Oh baby, I hope you're feeling better soon, C'mon, let's get to class." Supposedly the bell had rang while I was listening to music.

She takes my hand and drags me off, and I follow, keeping silent.

_I will not show weakness. I will not show pain. I will not cry._

She drops me off outside science, my favourite core subject, giving me a quick kiss before heading off to R&B vocals, skipping merrily down the hallways.

I scowl at her fading figure.

_How she dare be that happy! Fucking Vega, ju-_

I stop my train of thought as I push open the door.

I just called Tori what I promised I'd never call her again. Okay, so I didn't say it, but I thought it. I hadn't even thought anything like that for six months, and here I am, scowling and thinking about her like I did on her first day.

I walk into the classroom, nodding at the teacher, who I don't mind, but still fears me, as I sit at the back row by myself. I keep my head down, one headphone in, flipping pages ahead of where the teacher says we should be, because I've already completed it.

I can't believe I called her Vega. The moment we got together, I never called her Vega again. She told me she hated it and it made her feel like shit, so I promised I would stop because I cared for her too much.

Was I losing my love for Tori? I imagined the brunette in my mind, her shining hair, her deep chocolate eyes, her love and compassion, her body...

I snapped out of my daze. No, I was definitely still in love with her. Then what was happening with me? The mood swings, the crying, the hatred for everything, including myself, the constant mask I was having to hide behind again. All these things I hadn't experienced since before my Tori days.

So if I still love her, why can't anything about her, or us, fix all this shit I'm feeling? The first few months were perfection, everyone else was a blur, barely there.

Even when the drama with Cat started, I had no care in the world. When mum was being a bitch, when Sonia was turning into her, it didn't faze me because I had Tori and Tori had me.

I try to think back on when I started to feel so down again. A few weeks ago? A month, perhaps? Nothing had changed between us or between me and anyone else lately, so what caused this sudden change?

Maybe I was so stuck in the honeymoon phase that it lasted for five months, and when I finally got over myself, everything was just that little bit worse because of Tori being, well, perfect.

I sigh and place my head down on the desk, putting in my other headphone and I close my eyes, tired. I know the teacher won't call me out on sleeping in class so I relax my shoulders, slumping downwards as I look at my pearpod and pick out a relaxing playlist, so nothing blasts in my ears while I'm on the verge of sleep.

Soft piano begins to play a sweet melody and I let myself drift into it, until I am rudely awakened by the bell to the next class. I groan as I remember that it's screenwriting and I have to work on my script with Cat.

I slowly walk to my locker, delaying the inevitable as much as I can, sliding a brush through my hair, reapplying my lip gloss and finally switching over the books in my bag before walking to screenwriting.

I go to my usual desk to see Cat already sitting next to the desk, looking through papers. I slam down next to her and she flinches, shuffling away slightly, before giving me a quick nod.

I nod back, before running a hand through my hair.

"Alright, so where are we up to?" I say, putting my hands behind my head and kicking my feet out.

"Woman just got home and it's just been revealed that the husband is still alive."

She pauses, chewing at the end of her pencil.

"I also put in brackets, 'Audience rolls at eyes at terrible twist.'"

I smirk at her before grabbing the paper from her desk, glancing over at it.

"At the end, will we have them get caught? Or just live happily ever after?" I question, scribbling some notes onto the paper.

She shrugs. "I'd prefer they live happily ever after, it'd kind of defeat the whole purpose if they got caught in the end."

I nod and scribble that onto the bottom of the page, opening up my laptop and opening a new word document.

I glance at the character list and notice we only really need some extras that we can get from the class but we need someone to be the other main character.

"We need someone to be the character that you and I don't want to be."

She shrugs again. "Which character do you want to be?"

I think for a second. "Probably the cop." I get to shoot someone and I still get the happy ending. Sounds like a win win situation to me.

She rolls her eyes, as if she knew exactly my reasoning behind my character. "Well, I guess that makes me the husband, because I'd rather not end up with you."

I flinch.

"No offense." She snickers and I clench my fists, trying to bring down the anger bubbling inside of me, wanting so bad to smack the nasty smirk off her face.

I shake my head slowly and roll my eyes, acting as if I was unfazed. "Whatever, let's just get this mostly done so we can start to practice."

We work for the rest of the period, not talking, unless one of us has an idea.

When class ends I slide out without a word and take the time to get myself a coffee, enjoying the warm creaminess heat me from the inside out.

In the next class I sit down next to Tori and she squeezes my hand, giving me a warm smile and kissing my cheek. I don't feel myself light up like I usually do when she does that, and something inside me aches because of it.

I force myself to smile back like I usually do and busy myself in pulling out my books and organising my notes, pretending to look around for a pen even though I can see one directly in front of me.

I am still angry at myself for calling Tori 'Vega' and I know if I did it in front of her she would absolutely massacre me. She told me every time I did it she felt degraded and pathetic. I felt terrible about it, not knowing it had such an effect on her.

"You're looking even paler than usual today babe!" Tori said jokingly to me, snapping me from my thoughts.

I look up at her and smile wide, joking back, laughing falsely. We get shushed by the teacher and Tori places her glasses on her nose, beginning to answer questions in her work book.

I am stuck staring at her, unable to tear my eyes away. She notices me looking and she pokes her tongue out at me. I half heartedly smile again and poke my tongue back before finally ripping my eyes away and looking at my work.

Why couldn't she make me happy anymore? Why was it so hard to be happy lately? Why was nothing fixing it? The day was just getting worse the longer it went on and by lunch I was ready to go home.

The straw that broke the camel's back was lunchtime. It was just like every other lunch time, I was blocking nearly everyone out, keeping my hand firmly in Tori's, silently hoping that her touch would bring me to life again.

I'm so sick of feeling sad all the time.

"Oh my god hey!" Tori's voice yelled, leaping up to the new arrival at the table.

It was Cat.

She had stopped sitting with us when she fell out with Tori and I, although she was fine with the others, because we all knew it wouldn't end well.

"Hey little red! Nice to see you back!"

Andre stood up and threw his arms around her neck, as they hugged. I could feel Beck staring at me and I kept my face focused on the food in front of me, seemingly emotionless.

Cat sat down in between Shapiro and Andre, who was next to Tori, and it's almost as if everything were back to normal.

Except she hated me and refused to even look in my direction.

"Jade, come with me to the Grub Truck. I'll buy you some juice?" Beck asks, already rising from his seat.

I get up quickly, thankful for the escape, almost feeling suffocated surrounded by the girl I love and the girl I loved. We walk slowly and I can tell he wants to talk.

"How's it going?" I shrug.

"It's okay, what about you?" He shrugs back.

"I'm fine, are you sure you're okay?"

I almost want to burst into tears then and tell him how I'm feeling, but I force it down, nodding and trying to smile genuinely.

"Good, you know I'm always here right?"

I nod once more and we walk over to the grub truck, buying our stuff before walking back to the table.

Not long after, the bell rings to signal last period. I quickly get up and grab Tori's arm.

"Babe, don't worry about the ride after school, I'm going to get Sonia to pick me up now, I feel like crap."

Sympathy floods her face. "My baby, get better soon, okay?" She kisses me softly and I smile at her, nodding okay.

I walk out of the school gates after signing out, thinking about texting Sonia but I could use the walk, so I pull out my pearpod and begin the walk home.

Thoughts flood my mind as I walk, and so the walk turns into a jog, and the jog turns into a sprint as I race through the streets, needing to get home, to escape everyone and everything.

It is happening.

No one is home when I get there, so texting Sonia would have been pointless anyway. I let myself in, throwing my bag by the door, walking upstairs and slamming my door shut.

I plug my pearpod into the dock, turning the speakers right up before sitting against the wall on my bed, my legs curled up.

Guitar plays and I close my eyes, feeling the lyrics pulse through me, hitting every nerve.

_There's someone inside me that softly kills everyone around_

_They don't know they're dead to me 'cause, intent never makes a sound_

I look up to the ceiling, feeling myself let my walls down.

_You're sick, sick as all the, secrets that you deny_

_Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide._

I am suddenly so angry, my fists clench into little balls, as fury surges through me.

_There's a knot of seclusion, production and depression._

_If a stranger turns up missing, this song is my confession._

I leap up, unable to stay still, my fists still clenched.

_Losing self, in myself, inner demons make demands._

_You're sick, sick as all the, secrets that you deny_

_Sins like skeletons are so very hard to hide._

I need to destroy something. The mirror is the first thing I see.

I watch the glass smash, chunks of it falling down as I see a reflection of a girl who looks like me, but I recognise nothing about her. Her face is impassive, cold, while inside she is a mess.

_You're suffocating me, so very hard to breathe,_

The blood begins to pour from my hand but I do not move. I continue to stare at the stranger in the mirror.

_My mask is growing heavy but I've forgot who's beneath._

**Song in this chapter was Reclusion – Anberlin, please R+R and the next chapter will be up ASAP xx**


	11. Party

11.

I remember when I first admitted my feelings for Tori.

We were at a party, Beck's party, to be precise. Beck and I were on speaking terms, although we weren't quite past the awkward stage.

We were playing kings cup in a huge group, I was in between Cat and Vega, much to my displeasure, and I was seething as they talked over me, involving me in their stupid conversation about unicorns.

I eventually had enough and pushed them both away, scowling at them in turn. They both shrivelled up and Cat apologised.

"Sorry Jadey." She sounded so sad that I couldn't help but feel guilty.

"S'okay kitty cat, it was just getting kinda grating." Vega was about to open her mouth before Beck cut her off. Good.

"Tori, it's your turn."

Vega chose a card. "It's a seven."

Beck looked at the rules on his lap and began to laugh. "Bitch drink. Every time someone says bitch drink, you have to take a drink until someone else gets a seven."

Vega groaned and I cackled, turning towards her.

"Bitch drink." I said, laughing as she took a drink.

Everyone at the table followed my lead and we were all chuckling as good girl Vega continually got more and more drunk.

"Didn't know you had it in you, Vega." I said, raising an eyebrow as she opened another drink.

"Whatever, Jade." I laughed again as I went to grab a card.

"Oh no..." It was a seven. Vega's face immediately changed, as she began to smile wickedly.

"Hey Jade... Bitch drink." I sighed and began to drink, no point in stopping because 'Bitch drink' was flying from all parts of the table.

The game continued and I clapped in glee as Vega got the last king, grabbed the vessel and began to chug it down like there was no tomorrow. Everyone else cheered as she raised the empty cup high in the air, before stumbling while trying to sit back down.

Cat jumped up and turned on the music, turning it up loud before flicking on the strobe light and dancing around. I stumbled to the dance floor, dragging Vega behind me and we began to dance.

We danced for what felt like hours until my legs went wobbly from the drink. I needed fresh air so I slid open the sliding door out into the backyard, sitting on the grass, sipping at the bottle in my hand.

"Hey Jade!" Vega was walking over to me, before she collapsed on the ground beside me in a fit of giggles.

"We're not friends!" I snapped as she looked up at me.

She chuckled. "Yeah yeah Jade, I know. Whatever."

She rolled onto her back and began to watch the sky.

"Jade?"

"What, Vega?"

"Why do you hate me?"

I stopped for a moment, thinking about it. Sure, I first hated her. Everything about her pissed me off. But one thing about her was that she never gave up. No matter what I threw at her, she never stopped trying. When I realised that I kinda gave up on hating her, knowing that she would never stop bothering with me. Something that wasn't hate replaced that feeling for her.

"I don't hate you, Vega. You just piss me off sometimes."

"Don't worry Jade, you piss me off too." That shocked me. I wasn't prepared for that.

I was about to open my mouth to say 'Good' but she cut me off.

"Y'know, Jade, sometimes I wonder why I still bother with you. Because let's face it, ninety nine percent of the time you are a very cold, mean person. But when I get to see that other one percent of you, it makes me want to know you better. Because I like that one percent of you... a lot."

I recoiled in shock. Was Vega saying she had a crush on me? Was my drunken mind looking too hard into this? I looked at Vega and she had silent tears running down her cheeks.

"Vega, what are you trying to say? Just spit it out."

I barely heard it through her sobs. "I like you, Jade."

I was rendered speechless. She began to talk again.

"I know, it's weird because you're usually so mean to me except when you need me and I'm always there for some reason because there's something so fucking perfect about you and when you came to me after you broke up with Beck I was so happy because we could become closer and I really hope you don't hate me after this I just couldn't d-"

"Vega!" I yelled, grabbing her wrists and cutting her off.

"You're babbling, alright? Calm down."

The tears continued to run but her breathing was slowing down. I pulled her into a hug, shocking us both. But nothing could prepare me for what tumbled from my lips moments later.

"I like you too."

She pulled back, looking at me, searching for traces of a nasty smirk on my face or something to signify I wasn't being serious.

"R...really?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Vega. Really."

"Well, that was unexpected." She muttered.

I laughed. "Tell me about it."

We went silent. Only for her to break the silence. "So...?"

"So what?"

"Do you want to date?"

I was about to snap no, just out of habit when I really thought about it. I thought about Tori and I, dating. Properly. There was a part of me that wasn't keen, but there was a much larger part of me telling me to get over myself and accept what was happening. That part of me won.

"Yeah, sure."

The smile on her face that appeared when I spoke would've cured disease, I swear. It was infectious. I smiled back and I allowed her to snuggle into me. I began to stroke through her hair, battling with myself internally over why I was allowing this to happen.

"Christ, we're cute." Tori muttered, tracing patterns on my leg.

I laughed and turned her face so it was facing mine. "Yeah. We are." She smiled and we began to move our faces towards each others.

"Tori, Jade, where are you guys?!" Beck was yelling out to us and I groaned, standing up.

"We're here, what's up?"

"It's getting really late, come inside and sleep; I refuse to let you freeze!"

I smirked, hauling Tori up and grabbing her arm, linking it through mine, pretending that I was helping her walk. As we walked up to Beck I thought of a plan.

"Beck, Tori is uh... well she's fucked, can we get our own room, so I can keep an eye on her and she doesn't embarrass herself in front of everyone?"

He just looked at me quizzically, wondering why I was being so nice to Tori. He eventually shrugged, guessing I was so drunk and became nice.

"Yeah sure, you know where the guest bedrooms are. Take the one next to the bathroom, just in case."

I thanked him and we walked inside, hoping not to bump into anyone on the way. We got to the bedroom unscathed and I laid Tori on the bed, who was near to passing out. I lay down next to her and her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey."

I smiled. "Hi."

She grabbed me and pulled me closer, I wrapped my arms around her and nestled into her neck.

"I really hope I don't wake up tomorrow and this was all a dream."

"Same, Vega."

"Jade, this is going to seem ridiculous but... can you please not call me Vega anymore? At first, I didn't mind, but the way you say it makes me feel like absolute shit every time, sometimes I just want to completely avoid you, just so you don't say that."

A pang of guilt hit me and I immediately felt terrible.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it meant that much to you. I promise I won't... Tori."

I looked at her and she smiled, and before I could do anything, she moved her face towards mine and her lips pressed against mine. I melted into the softness of her lips; I couldn't believe how perfect this felt. I felt amazing. No one, not even Beck, made me feel this way when they kissed me.

But when Tori kissed me, it's as if everything else just faded away.

That was the first night in a long time that my sleep wasn't riddled with nightmares and bad memories. I was completely safe in Tori's arms, her grip releasing every inner demon.

When I woke up the next morning, Tori was already awake, staring at me.

"What?" I snapped, closing my eyes once more.

She chuckled. "Not a morning person, then?"

I shook my head and I felt her arms wrap around me.

"I meant everything I said last night."

I smiled. "So did I."

She grinned and leapt up, stretching and singing happily to herself. Usually this attitude in the morning would just irritate the fuck out of me, but for some reason I only felt happiness.

"I'm going to clean myself up and get changed; I'll be back soon, okay?"

I nodded as she walked out, grabbing her bag from the hallway and going into the bathroom next door. I sighed happily, leaning back on my hands, a small stupid smile on my face.

"Knock, knock!" I looked up and Andre was standing in the doorway. "How was Tori last night? Didn't vomit, did she?"

I sat up and shook my head. "Nah, Tori was pretty well behaved, she basically just fell asleep."

"Jade. What did you just call Tori?"

I froze and Andre began to smile wickedly. "Jade, what happened last night?"

His eagerness reminded me of an excited puppy as he sat on the end of the bed, grinning at me.

"Uh... nothing happened."

Andre wasn't fazed by my attitude, his smile only grew wider.

"Oh yeah? Because when I bumped into Tori just before she seemed incredibly happy and whispered that she needed to tell me something. I know she likes you. Do you like her?"

I slumped my shoulders, defeated. "Yeah... We're kinda sorta maybe dating."

Andre put up his hand for a high five and I high fived him, before speaking again.

"But please don't tell anyone, especially not Beck, it'd be weird, I want to tell him in my own time. Promise me, Andre."

Andre nodded and held out his pinkie. "I pinkie promise you, I won't tell a soul."

I hooked my pinkie around his and shook it, just as Tori walked in.

"Hey, what are we promising on?"

Andre looked excitedly at her and looked at me for permission. I nodded and he leapt up, enveloping Tori in a hug.

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone about you guys, by the way, finally! This is awesome, Tor!" Tori grinned at me over his shoulder.

"Thanks Dre, I love that you're so supportive. Speaking of you being awesome... can you go ask Beck what's for breakfast, please? I'm starving."

Andre nodded and bounded out the door, but not before slyly winking at me. I couldn't help but laugh as Tori came to sat next to me.

"So, is this for real? For reals?" Tori asked, grabbing my hand.

I nodded my head at her. "Yeah, definitely."

She squealed with joy and I flinched at the noise.

"Sorry, Jade."

I flapped my hand at her. "It's okay. I'm warning you now, sometimes I am moody and bitchy and I won't want to talk to anyone. Other times I will be incredibly affectionate and clingy and jealous. I don't want to hurt you, but I need to warn you."

Tori thought for a while before slowly nodding. "When I started to like you, I knew that if this ever would happen, we'd have a lot of ups and downs and at first it would probably be awkward and weird and sometimes we'd get incredibly mad at each other and I'd want to cry."

She paused. "But it's worth it; I want all of you, the perfections and imperfections, the good and bad times that come with it. Now I have all of you. I wouldn't change you. Ever."

I felt myself going all mushy on the inside and I couldn't help but feel incredibly happy as I pulled her into my arms and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"This is the start of something beautiful." I muttered, quoting one of my favourite songs. I felt Tori's shoulders shake as she chuckled.

"This is the start of something new."


	12. Stories

12.

When he knocks, I am asleep.

I don't wake up until he gasps and runs over to me.

"Jade!" A force shakes at my arms and my eyes flutter open.

"Wha-?" My mind is hazy and my vision is blurred, clogged with sleep.

"Jade, what have you done to yourself?!" My eyes snap open now as I glance down.

Dried blood adorns my hand, the carpet is stained with drips of red. I snap my eyes to the mirror and the surrounding floor, the chunks of glass still scattered everywhere.

"I-" His blue eyes look into mine, and I cannot help but begin to cry.

His arms lift me off my bed and into the bathroom as I continue to sob uncontrollably.

"Shhh, Jade, it will be alright, I promise." He sits me down in the bath and grabs a cloth, holding it to my hand. He continues to stroke my head as I cry.

How could a man who was almost a stranger break me down so easily?

He pulls the cloth off and begins to examine my hand, looking for glass. When he's satisfied that there's nothing in there, he goes through the bathroom cupboard for the first aid kit.

"Mike, why are you here? Why are you bothering with me?"

I wince as he begins to apply ointment to my hand. "I came to grab some paper work for your mother, she's in a meeting. And Jade, I'm not going to leave you here. Now talk to me. Your mother's paperwork can wait. You obviously need someone to talk to."

I think about telling him to fuck off and to mind his own business, but I know when it gets too hard, and right now was when I needed a release.

I began with when everything was perfect, when I was a happy young kid without a care in the world and a fascination with all things horror related. I spoke of when I got IT, to when the messages on the inside were scrawled, to when the first plate was thrown and the first argument happened, to when my mother became cold and heartless and began to despise me.

I talked of the beginning of Beck and I, how things began to look up, to when Tori came along and fucked up things in my brain, to when Beck and I broke up and everything went wrong again.

I told him the way Cat acted when Tori and I got together, how my best friend went from being sugar sweet to bitter in one day, to how Tori wasn't making everything okay anymore and I was going back to being the old me and it was the last thing I wanted but I couldn't help it.

Mike didn't talk at all, he just finished bandaging up my hand and began to wash all the blood off my arm, while motioning me to go on or offering me support when the tears began again.

"And now here I am, in a bathtub with a bloody hand, telling my life story to an almost stranger because everything built up and got way too hard and I don't know where to go from here. The End."

He chuckles at the end, drawing in a deep breath. "That was quite a story, Jade. Unfortunately I'm not a therapist and I can't tell you how to fix everything, with your girlfriend and with Cat, but you can begin by talking to them about how you're actually properly feeling. And your mother stuff, I don't even know how to begin to process that. But I believe it's her fault for not seeing you as you really are, because you are not a disappointment, nor a failure, and I also believe you will become something amazing."

Someone actually believes in me. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Someone actually said to my face that they believe in me. Mike tenses when I throw my arms around his neck, but he soon relaxes and wraps his arms around my back.

"Thank you for saying you believe in me." I mutter, fresh tears running down my cheeks.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here, alright?" I nod and pull away and look at him.

"You better stick around okay?" He laughs and nods.

"Course, now, what shall we talk about?"

I pull back from him and sit back down in the bathtub.

"You. What's your story, blank face man?"

He chuckles and begins to slowly shake his head. "I probably should say no, but you shared with me so I guess it's only fair."

"As a child, I was pretty well off. My parents were happily married, I had two siblings, one older brother and a younger sister. My older brother, Dan, was my role model. He was two years older. My little sister, Paige, is six years younger than me. When I was fourteen and Dan was sixteen, he started getting really weird. He had no friends, well that I knew of anyway, he would spend hours, which turned into days, away from home at a time."

He pauses, taking a deep breath, before continuing.

"This continued for a few years. He began to fight with my parents constantly, and moved out a few days before his eighteenth birthday. He kept in touch with me, telling me I should join him the moment I turned sixteen, so we could be together again."

"Then one day, the calls just stopped. I found out he hadn't talked to my parents since he left, and it was only me he was talking to. I moved out and carried on with life, going to college and getting my degree, but never forgetting about my lost brother."

"On what would have been his twenty second birthday, I was visiting my parents when we got a call from the police. Dan had killed himself; they had found him in an abandoned apartment on the other side of town. My mother broke down in tears, wailing about how it was her fault. He had left a letter, saying he was sorry for not contacting us and how he wished he could've been different and he never meant to cause us that many years of pain and now he had to end it."

"It took me years to get over my brother's death, and one thing that helped me through it was Jane."

"I met Jane when I was 20, just over a year after Dan had died, she became my saviour, and I couldn't live without her. We were together nine years before I finally proposed, and when I did, she screamed yes and I couldn't be happier. Everything was brilliant, and it just got better when two years later, we found out she was pregnant."

"When we found out it was a boy, I requested we name him Dan. Jane was happy with the name and I couldn't wait to meet him."

He pauses again and runs his hand through his hair, a pained expression on his face.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me, Mike."

He shook his head. "No, it's fine. I need to get this out anyway."

"She went into labour prematurely. It was rough. The doctors said neither of them might make it. I sat by my wife's bed and prayed everything would be alright. When the baby started arriving the doctor told me to leave, saying I wouldn't want to see this. I curled up in the waiting room and pleaded with God. The doctor came through half an hour later."

"'Mr Anderson, I'm happy to say you have a beautiful baby boy.' He paused, his expression turning to worry. 'But I'm sorry; your wife didn't make it.' I broke down, running past him and into my wife's room. I held her and kissed her and wished she would come back, even though I knew she wouldn't."

"A small whimper reminded me of the child she had just given birth to. I walked over to the tiny child that was in the nurses arms and looked at him. He had so much of her in him, and I swore that I would forever look after my baby boy and make sure I was always there for him."

"I kept my promise, I was there for every prize giving, sports game, play, I was there for his first prom, I cared about him more than anything in the world and I would give anything for him."

Mike gulps and tears begin to run down his cheeks.

"On October the 12th, 2010, Dan was with his girlfriend driving home from the movies late one night, when they were hit by a drunk driver coming around a corner. He didn't survive. I became depressed, I spoke to no one. I locked myself indoors for weeks on end and I refused to come out. I wished I had died along with everyone else."

"One day Paige decided to bust me out. She cared for me; she wanted to turn my life around. She got me professional help, she never gave up on me. She stuck with me for almost two years, and in that time she went through hell and back with me. She's my rock. Without her I wouldn't be here today. I found interest in your mother, she was quirky and loud and funny and seemed like a perfect distraction for all the nights when everything was bleak. I care for your mother, I really do, I just hate what she does to you."

"And that's my story. Sorry for dampening the mood further, Jade. I haven't told anyone that full story other than Paige, not even your mother, so you should feel privileged."

I silently stand up and grab Mike in a hug, pleading that he would stay around, that mum wouldn't get rid of him. That he really tried.

The sound of his phone ringing broke us apart. He glanced at it and sighed. He pressed the talk button.

"Hello? Yeah, sorry, I got caught in traffic. I just got here. I'm grabbing it now, sorry babe. Be there soon, are we doing dinner tonight? Here? Sweet as, see you soon, love you."

"Mum, I guess?" He nods and stands up, stretching his muscles.

"Jade, tonight, at dinner, I think you should talk to your mother. Tell her how you're feeling; you never know what might happen. Something amazing could come out of it."

I think about it, finally talking to my mother after years of silence and insults. I nod slowly, standing up out of the bathtub. He tells me to go to my room while he runs downstairs to grab a broom.

He runs back up the stairs and helps collect all the glass up, taking the mirror, telling me he'll fix it.

"I'll be back tonight with dinner and some carpet cleaner for your floor, behave yourself, okay?"

I nod and he is about to walk out the bedroom door when he turns and gives me another hug.

"Don't you ever worry me like that again, alright?" I nod once more and he smiles at me, ruffling my hair before crossing the hall to my mother's room and grabbing her paperwork. I hear him walk downstairs and out the front door.

I turn my pearpod on and push it into the dock, flicking through the songs until I find Freedom Blade, letting the soft lyric less music wash over me, cleansing me from the inside out.

Thinking about the things in my life and the things Mike's gone through and knowing he recovered makes me feel so petty. I can resolve my problems a lot easier than he could he resolve his and yet I haven't done anything.

I close my eyes and fall deep into thought. I will start with my mother, like Mike suggested, then Tori, and Cat. I take a deep breath and a small smile falls onto my face, things can change now. For the better.


	13. Fix

13.

I spend the next few hours in agony, waiting for the slam of a front door to signify life in the house, to signify what will be my biggest challenge thus far this year.

I sit up from my bed, and glance at the time, seeing that it is a quarter to four and I will still be waiting for over two hours for them to arrive home. I decide I need to shower and grab my towel before stepping into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind me.

I turn the shower on, being careful with my bandaged hand as I undress and drop my clothes on the ground beside me. I step into the hot spray and sigh as it runs over me.

The hot water pulses through me, and at first I wince at the pain rising from my hand when the water hits it, but soon it grows tolerable and I cannot do anything but stand in one spot with my head down, enjoying the heat racing over my body.

I stand there until the water goes cold, quickly turning off the spray and stepping out, now shivering because of the sudden change in temperature, wrapping myself in my towel and running back to my bedroom.

I drop my towel as I step in, turning to my mirror when I remember it is no longer there. I sigh and look down at myself.

My legs are so pale it's almost as if they glow. Sure, I go out in the sun, but I never tan. Tori has told me multiple times that I was a perfect, porcelain doll with my skin, just a scarier version. From my ankles up to just below the tops of my thighs is simple white skin. At the tops of my thighs there's an array of ugly scars from when shit got too much.

I trace over the scars, thankful that I'm past that stage, that I didn't feel the need to express myself in cuts anymore, that I had found new outlets, through my arts.

The thought of the arts brings my thoughts straight back to my mother, of how she's so disapproving. If only she knew how destructive I'd be without them.

I see that there's less than an hour left until they're home, and so I pull on some knickers and a bra, before brushing my hair and blow drying it. I search for something that isn't so black, and I walk into my wardrobe.

I search the rail until I locate a green dress Tori made me buy a few months ago but I hadn't touched. It was just above knee length, emerald green and quite flowing at the front but went tight at the bottom. I grab it and hold it up against me, looking down at myself again and fingering the fabric. I shrug and pull it on, going back to the bathroom to see my reflection.

The first thing I notice is that my eyes are now radiating. The green of my dress goes so well with the green of my eyes against my skin that I can't help but smile at my reflection.

Yes, good Jade, stay positive.

I curl the bottoms of my hair, pinning some at the top of my head before hair spraying it in place. I walk into the bathroom again with my makeup and do up my eyes, making them brighter than I ever thought possible. I am in the middle of finishing up my right eye when I hear the front door open.

I scuttle back to my room and close the door, hearing laughing voices. They are home. I hear my mother telling Mike she'll go shower and get changed and then she'll be back down for dinner.

Once the bathroom door in her bedroom clicks shut, I hear Mike sneak up the stairs, and he taps on my door before opening it.

"Jade, you look very pretty." I smile at his compliment and he raises his eyebrows in question.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be, when should I come down? Before or after she's there?"

He strokes his chin for a moment. "I think before, just come down with me now."

I flap a hand at him. "I'll be down in a few, just set the table."

He smiles at me once more and closes the door behind him, and I can hear him turn on some music downstairs.

I stand up and unscrew my eyebrow bar, knowing it will be fine over dinner, along with my nose stud, placing them on my drawer. I draw one more deep breath and walk downstairs, noticing my whole body is shaking.

Mike is grabbing the containers from a bag, placing them on the table before opening them and emptying them on the plates.

"I got you lamb saagwala, I hope that's okay."

I grin up at him as I sit down. "It's my favourite. Take out huh? Classy."

He mock punches me as he continues to scrape food onto the plates. "I'll have you know that this is from the top Indian restaurant in town, and it's actually a proper restaurant that happens to do takeaway also."

I roll my eyes and mutter 'take out' under my breath and he laughs and walks into the kitchen, pouring two glasses of wine before turning to me.

"Wine?"

I shudder and shake my head. "No thank you, wine and I don't have a very good history. I'll just have lemonade, please."

He smiles at that and brings back the glasses, setting them at the table and sitting down as we hear the bathroom door open.

"Jade, you're shaking, calm down."

Mike grabs my hand and I try to calm down, I can't believe I am this terrified of a confrontation with my mother.

Footsteps begin to move down the stairs, and along with that floats the scent of my mother's perfume. I am now frozen in place, scared that she will flip out at me for being there.

The seat is pulled back and no one says anything as my mother calmly sits herself in her seat.

She speaks the first words. "How nice of you to join us for dinner, Jadelyn, I haven't seen you in a while."

I am almost thrown off by the lack of malice in her words and the confusion in her voice instead.

"Yeah, I've been really busy lately; so I thought I better make an appearance."

She nods at that and starts a conversation with Mike about work, but she is genuinely thrown by my presence and continually glances over at me throughout the meal.

As I listen to their conversation, I realise I actually have very little idea about what my mother does. What she has been doing for the past four years of her life. That thought fills me with sadness. Had it really been four years since we talked properly? Since I lost my parents, one physically and the other emotionally?

I hear the undertone of stress in my mother's voice, something I learnt about with Sikowitz, how someone saying something could actually mean another thing if you listened properly.

I feel a pang of guilt deep inside me. I didn't know how much my mother went through on a daily basis, what the divorce was like for her. If it was hard for me, it would've been a thousand times worse for her.

But that still gives no excuse to the way she treats me, no excuse for the cold glares and stares and hatred forced upon me.

I wait to speak again until Mike has taken our plates away, I do not trust my mother near plates any longer when she gets mad.

Mother sips her wine as Mike purposefully takes his time rinsing out the dishes and making noise, pretending he's doing something so I can try to talk.

I try to open my mouth to say things but I can't force anything out. I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"Where's Sonia?"

She sips her wine once more. "She's at Jeremy's for the night."

I nod and we fall back into awkward silence, I can hear Mike still fumbling around in the kitchen. I know he'll be urging for me to say something.

I have no idea how to venture into this conversation, and I am almost tempted to talk about the weather, but a better idea comes to mind.

"Wait here, I have something to show you." She looks at me in surprise and curiosity, as I bound up the stairs two at a time and grab 'IT' off my bedside table. I walk calmly this time and I sit back down before carefully passing her the book.

As she takes it off my hands her face immediately drops. She fingers the cover just as I did when I discovered it the day before, and she slowly opens the first page.

I see her eyes scan over the pages where her and my father's messages are scrawled, and I suddenly see her with clearer eyes.

She is tired. She is not as put together as I thought she was. Under what I thought were bright, glowing eyes are heavy bags. Her wrinkles are suddenly more prominent. It's as if I put on a pair of glasses and can suddenly see her for real.

Maybe this is how Sonia stopped fearing her. She saw her for what she really is. I almost feel like a lion hunting its prey, attacking while its vulnerable, before it builds the mask back up again until its past the point of being destroyed.

She finishes reading hers but I see her skip her eyes back over to my father's again, and anger fills her eyes. She reads hers again and tears begin to fill her eyes.

My mother is crying. I thought it would never happen. She never showed vulnerability, not in public anyway, I guess I was quite a bit more like her than I thought.

We are silent for a while as she continues to scan the pages. Finally, she breaks the silence just as I begin to open my mouth to talk.

"Where did you find this?"

"The junk room."

Her face hardens again and I feel like crying. It will not work. She will demand that it be put back in there or burned because it contains my father and/or ungodly things and that I get out of her face immediately.

As she opens her mouth to speak I cut her off.

"What changed, mum? When did you stop loving me?"

It takes everything I have in my being to not break down when the dam bursts.

My cold, emotionless, perfectly put together mother is falling apart in front of my eyes. She is a mess. She is clutching the book in her arms with all her might and she is beginning to slowly rock back and forth in her chair.

I want to reach out and hold her but I have not touched her in so long, I am scared of what will happen.

I won't be able to handle the rejection if she flinches away or swings at me. But something in me takes over and before I know it my arms are wrapped around in her in a desperate clench.

Through her sobs I can barely make out the repeated whispers coming from her mouth.

"I'm sorry."

The tears begin to run freely down my cheeks now as I clench her tighter, desperately looking for the right thing to say, but I cannot find it.

I am barely aware of it when Mike slips past us unnoticed and slowly sneaks up the staircase, leaving us alone.

I cannot tell how long we stay like that for, but my mother's sobs slow down and as they do I stand her up and move her into the lounge, sitting her down on the couch as I sit next to her.

As I lower myself into the seat next to her she looks up at me and I can see the pain in her eyes and the tired lines on her face.

She keeps opening her mouth but she cannot find her voice, and I watch in pain as more stray tears find their way down her cheeks.

"Jadelyn." Her voice is shaky and barely above a whisper.

"Yeah?" I reply, grabbing her hand and taking it in mine.

"I am so sorry." She whispers, and I begin to cry again.

I try to cut her off to tell her it's okay but she gets in first.

"I have been awful, for the past four years. You are supposed to be my daughter. I didn't treat you like my daughter. I treated you as a stranger who was just boarding in our house. I didn't respect you, or your..." She pauses, gulping. "...girlfriend."

I reeled in shock; she had never referred to Tori as anything else than "her" or "ugh" before.

She continues on, her voice still whispery. "I can't believe I thought pretending I was okay for this long wouldn't ever blow up in my face. I thought being impassive and cold would work out in the end and I wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore."

She looks at me and I see an older version of myself in her face, except for our eye colour, I thought I was nothing like her, but in reality we are so similar, I had just never noticed.

"I pretended like the pain in your eyes didn't affect me, that I didn't hate myself for doing this to you. I pretended as if this were for the best, as if that if I weren't in your life anymore, I couldn't cause any more pain to you."

She pauses once more and looks back down again.

"I guess I was wrong."

I squeeze her hand and begin to talk. "I created a mask. I learnt from you how to do it so well. I was constantly pretending, I was constantly faking a smile, I was pretending that I didn't mind the fact that you hated me-"

"I never hated you, Jade. Ever. I could never ever hate you."

"Fine, that I was a disappointment to you." She tries to cut me off again but I hold my hand up to stop her. I need to speak before I chicken out.

"Or a failure, or something you would never be proud of. And it sucked. It sucked to never see you at anything I ever did, to see everyone's parents cheering them on and you were never there. A voice began at the back of my head, telling me I was the failure you said I was, I was worthless, I didn't deserve friends because even my parents didn't want me."

"When Tori came along and decided she wanted me, that voice went away for a while, even when Cat left and when you screamed and cried, the voice was still gone because she made everything right. The voice has come back, every day it is telling me I am not good enough, I am pitiful and a pathetic excuse for a human being and I'm not worth anything. I act. You always said acting couldn't get me anywhere. Well it's got me this far."

My mother pulls me into a hug almost immediately after I finish my last word. It feels so odd to have my mother's arms wrapped around me once more as if I were a small child again.

"I'm not going to pretend that I do approve of you and Tori, despite the fact that she makes you happy, because in all honestly, it is something I never learnt how to deal with. It is new for me. Even when you were with Beck I didn't like it. I just... it just hurts seeing someone making you so happy when I have failed. And I know I have no right to say that because I haven't even been trying."

She pulls away and looks into my eyes.

"But I want to try, okay?"

I slowly nod and she pulls me into a hug once more.

"I love you Jadelyn. And despite it all, I never stopped loving you, ever, and I never will."

"I love you too mum."

She continues to rock me and hold me for what feels like hours.

"Mum?"

"Yes, Jade?"

"Did you ever hear from dad?"

She freezes and I am already regretting my question.

"Why's that?"

"I- I miss him mum. I miss him so much. Why hasn't he kept in touch? He said he would love me forever."

"I'm sure he does, baby, he's just... odd. Your father always has been. I'm sure one day he will be back in touch, I promise."

She relaxes once more and I nestle into her neck.

She finally pulls back and looks at my face again.

"Your piercings have gone."

I nod meekly. "I was planning on putting them back in, but if you don't want me t-"

She puts her hand up to stop me and takes a deep breath. "No. It is your face; you do what you want with it. I have no right to control you because I haven't done anything motherly for a very long time." She takes another deep breath.

"Plus, I think they look quite nice... for piercings anyway."

I smile and hug her once more before she breaks into a yawn.

"Mum you should probably sleep, it's getting really late and you have work tomorrow."

She nods slowly and begins to stand up. "That's true, I have a lot to do. But you have school also."

I stand up with her. "Mum, I don't actually know... what you do. I have never asked."

She laughs. "Let's just say it involves briefcases and calculators and suits and paperwork and other very interesting things... but not at all interesting. One day I'll bring you into work with me and you can see for yourself, although I'm sure you'll fall asleep half way through the day."

I smile at that and we both begin the walk up the staircase, and we part at the bathroom and her bedroom door.

"I'm going to get into some pyjamas, I'll be in to say goodnight in a few minutes."

She walks into her room and I walk into the bathroom and go to brush my teeth. I look in the mirror and there is makeup all down my face and I am a mess. I clean my face and brush my teeth, tying back my hair into a bun.

I change into my pyjamas and flick my lamp on, crawling into bed. She walks in not long later, but she is still in her dress.

She has my book in her hand and she passes it to me.

"Goodnight Jade, I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

"I love you too, mum." She plants a soft kiss on my forehead and once again I feel like a small child as she closes the door behind her.

I flick through the book and come to a stop at the back page, where a new message has been scrawled.

_Jadelyn,_

_What has happened tonight was long overdue. The walls I had built up were getting so high, I am so glad you knocked them down. I cannot apologise enough for what I have put you through, but I hope I can begin to make up for it. I am sorry for keeping this from you, you deserved to know a long time ago. I just can't believe I put you through this for so long. I hope one day things will be right again. I love you always and forever, Mum. Xx_

I read through the message again, tears filling my eyes when I notice something underneath the message.

It is a piece of paper, ripped out of a notebook, a name next to a highlighted number.

It is my father's number.


	14. Reunion

**I am so incredibly sorry about the huge gap between this chapter and the last! I'm awful, I know :( I promise the next chapter will be up next week. Thanks for sticking around!**

I can't stop staring at the numbers in front of me.

My father.

I know that to some people this wouldn't even be a big deal. There were people who hadn't spoken to their parents in ten, twenty, thirty years.

I am not sure of how to feel about this. I wonder if dad had ever tried to contact me but mother never allowed him to. I read over the number again and then glance at the clock.

A quarter past eleven, surely it's too late to call him.

He'll be asleep.

He won't want to hear from anyone this late.

I keep telling myself these things as I pick up my phone and insert the number, but no matter what I say to myself, I cannot stop now.

I press the call button and hold the phone up to my ear, still shaking.

"Hello?"

"Da-"

I hang up immediately.

I throw my phone across the room as I hear it ring, but I cannot bring myself to answer it. I am so scared.

I am scared he will hear my voice, and hear it's me, his daughter, and he'll hang up the phone, because he doesn't want it to be me.

As I ignore the phone calls that occur twice more, I slowly walk over to my phone and pick it up.

Three missed calls and one voicemail.

A voicemail.

Shit.

As I call my voicemail, I am almost tempted to just delete it, straight away. No drama.

But I can't bring myself to do it.

I need to hear his voice, even if it is just an inquiry into who I am.

"Jadelyn. I can't believe it's you. This better not be a prank or something. I'll call you tomorrow."

That's it. It's not much but it's more than I ever hoped for.

At first I am confused at how he knew it was me, but I then remember my voicemail message.

I was trying to record one at Tori's house but she said I always sounded so negative and would force me to go again. The final one started with me saying, "Why are you calling me anyway? I probably don't want to talk to you!" And ended with Tori screaming in the background, "Jadelyn West, you are such a gank!"

I found it so funny I've kept it on there since.

But now it seems ironic because the only person that's actually gotten that voicemail message since I made it is the one person I want to talk to.

I sigh and drop my phone onto my bedside table, lying back onto my bed and placing my head in my hands.

Why is everything happening all at once? Maybe it's a sign, or something bullshit like that.

Fix one things, you might as well fix everything else while you're at it.

You know what? Fine. Bring it on.

A light tap on the door. The quiet squeak of the door being nudged open. 'It's get up time now Jade, have a good day.' This is what wakes me up this morning.

I have never loved mornings so much. I glance up out from my covers to see my mother slowly shutting the door behind her. This is insane. I almost don't want to believe it just in case I am still sleeping.

But after I slap myself a couple of times and pinch myself under the arm. I know it's real, and then I can smile.

I raise and stretch my body, enjoying the sensation more than I really should. My whole body is tingling. I haven't felt this good since I first got with Tori.

Shit. Tori. I need to sort things out with her. I think to myself whether I should tell her what happened last night, I feel for some reason, I don't want to, but I know I should, she's my everything, she deserves to know.

I look at the bandage on my arm, sighing because I know it will be hot today. I throw on a blue singlet and black cardigan with a black high waisted skirt, and grab my ankle boots and bringing them downstairs with me.

"Hey you!" I look down the stairs and Mike is standing at the bottom. I lose all composure and go flying down the stairs to him, throwing my arms around him.

"Oh my god, thankyou, thankyou so much for giving me the bravery to do something."

He is silent and completely still, minus an odd groaning noise coming from his mouth.

"Uh.. Jayde, the heel of your boot is kinda digging into my back."

I pull away and he groans again in pain, rubbing a spot on his back.

"I am so sorry!" He laughs and shakes his head at me. "It's fine, and I'm so proud of you for everything. When your mother came to bed we had a good talk about this and she feels so much better already. Did you see the back of your book...?"

I nod. "I called last night... but I hung up when he answered. He called back and knew it was me from my voicemail, and said he would call me today. I'm... I'm kinda terrified out of my mind."

Mike places a hand on my shoulder. "Jade, it will be okay. Me, and your mother will both be here for you if you need us. I need to go now, I'll see you this evening?"

I smile up at him and nod. He grins at me and walks out the front door, closing it behind him. I walk in to the kitchen, grabbing my purse off the counter and an apple out of the fruit basket, before throwing them both in my bag.

I have just finished zipping up my left boot when I hear a horn outside.

I bound out the door, opening the passenger door and hopping in.

"Hey baby, you seem a lot better today!" Tori smiles at me and I lean towards her and kiss her.

"A lot better, babe. I don't even know where to begin."

She grins at that and she grabs my hand, squeezing it lightly. I want to do nothing more than begin to speak, but I am scared of distracting her while she drives, so I do nothing but radiate positivity.

As we pull into school, I excitedly unbuckle myself and open the door just as Tori stops moving.

"Jesus babe, calm down!" I leap around to Tori's side and open her door for her, dragging her out and away.

"Babe, seriously! I still need to lock it!" I huff and cross my arms, but wink when she looks at me worriedly.

She barely has time to pull the key out of the lock before I am dragging her off again, towards asphalt.

"Want a coffee?" I ask her, looking back at her confused face. She nods at me and so I order us both a coffee, a mocha with two sugars for her and a double shot vanilla latte for me. As our coffees are being made, I wrap her in my arms.

"Wow you really are in a good mood!" I chuckle, because no matter how happy I am, I never giggle, and kiss her on the cheek.

I pay for our coffees, and we walk over hand in hand to the exact same table I was at yesterday, except today everything is completely different.

Once we are both sitting I grab her hands across the table. I think about teasing her and making her guess, but I cannot contain it.

"LastnightItalkedtomymumandwe talkedforhoursandwecriedands heapologisedandshewantstocha ngeourrelationshipandshetold meshelovedmeandthenshegaveme mydadsnumberIamsohappy!"

I talk so fast it takes Tori a couple of seconds to process what I just said to her.

"Oh my God!" She cries, leaping up out of her seat and moving to where I am, throwing her arms around me.

"I am so happy for you my baby!" She squeezes herself against me and I can't help but squeeze her back just as tight.

"I just... can't believe this happened to me." I mutter into her shoulder, not releasing my grip on her.

"Yeah, well, you deserved it love, you have deserved something like this for so long and it's about time you got it." I finally release her and she sits next to me.

"So, full story please?" I talk until the bell goes and even then I am still not done. We walk towards Sikowitz' class and I am still talking at the speed of light. The smile on Tori's face does not falter, in fact it grows stronger the more I speak. I am so glad I told her.

As we walk in, I am finally done and Tori holds me once more. "This is just...amazing." I nod, agreeing with her. We seperate and sit down, waiting for Sikowitz to appear... if he decides to this lesson.

Half way through what should've been our class, Sikowitz' still hasn't made an appearance. A group of kids in the corner are just talking, not that they ever usually talk, Beck and Andre have dragged a bunch of desks together, and they're now beginning a poker tournament.

I raise an eyebrow at Tori when they ask us if we want to play. She nods and we move our chairs over. I nod at everyone at the table, even Cat, who almost reels in shock, since I prefer to ignore her unless I am forced to interact.

That card game, I don't insult, threaten or physically harm anyone. I don't cheat, lie, or get mad when I lose. Everyone is pleasantly surprised when the bell rings and I still haven't done anything, well... Jade like. Everybody moves the furniture back and we all move outside.

I say goodbye to Tori with a kiss and a smile and begin to walk off, but Beck catches up to me and grabs my shoulder.

"Why are you so smiley today miss?" I immediately scowl at him and narrow my eyes.

"Better?"

He begins to laugh and I laugh with him. "So, seriously though, what's happened? Really good sex or..."

"BECK!" I scream, cutting him off. I shove him and he laughs again, regaining his balance quickly.

"Sorry, I had to. So anyway...?"

"I talked to my mum. She gave me my dad's number. I am very happy. The end."

Beck grins, his eyes lighting up. "Congratufuckinglations!"

The rest of the day, I am floating. I am feeling lighter than air. It passes by in such a daze. It isn't until last period that I am brought back into reality.

My phone rings. The teacher snaps her head up to look at me. I mouth 'important' as I walk out the door.

It is my father.

"Hello?"

"Jadelyn. I am so glad to finally be able to talk to you." His voice is filled with warmth. I am smiling again. Ouch. Smiling for this long is beginning to hurt.

"Yeah, you too."

"So... are you doing anything after school today?"

"No, why's that?"

"How about we meet up for a coffee, say four, at Molly's?"

"Great, see you then."

"Okay, bye."

I am shaking with excitement now. I cannot wait to see him. I feel like I should be nervous but I'm not in the slightest.

It doesn't hit me until 3:45.

Tori has just dropped me off and wished me luck. My stomach is now convulsing like never before. It's just like yesterday but a thousand times worse because this time it is not a woman in my house, it is someone who has been a physical and emotional stranger to me for four years. No contact, whatsoever. I'm surprised he's even interested in me.

What about Sonia? Did he ever see her? Does she want to see him? Have they been in contact this whole time? I must ask one of them. I walk into the bathroom at the back of Molly's and glance in the mirror. I am paler than usual and my hands are visibly shaking.

I splash some water on my face, before reapplying my eye make up and adding a touch of lip gloss. I breathe deep a couple of times, before beginning a mantra.

It will be fine. It will be fine. It will be fine.

I walk out of the bathroom door just as the front door of the cafe opens.

A middle aged man. He has brown hair tied up in a ponytail, tanned skin and piercing green eyes.

And a wicked eyebrow bar.

I cannot help but smile as the man spots me and we begin to walk towards each other.

My father.


	15. Talk

It is not how I hoped it would be.

But then again, I held very high hopes.

We do not run towards each other, I do not fling myself into his arms and begin to cry.

It begins with an apprehensive wave from me. He grins as I walk towards him.

As I am nearing, he opens his arms out. I walk straight into them and he wraps them around me, but it is awkward.

I should be full of love and happiness but I am not that affectionate of a person.

Well, lately I have been... but I still have my moments.

He clearly is neither. He is warm but his arms are stiff like boards. He mustn't do hugs all that often. We pull away from each other not long after and sit down at the table directly next to us.

I see his eyes scan over me and stop at my eyebrow.

"Matching." He winks and laughs and I laugh too, because neither of us had these when we last saw each other.

"So, you're nearly 18, right?" I nod. My birthday's only two months away, and Tori's already planning a huge party.

"Do you have your license, a car?"

I shrug and choke out a small laugh. "Um, I did. I went through a... really rough patch. Got my license taken off me, and the car went as well. Luckily my girl..." I drain off and he looks at me quizzically.

"My girl mate, Tori, is nice enough and gives me a ride to school sometimes."

He slowly nods. "Okay, let me get you a coffee, what do you want?"

"Vanilla latte please."

He smiles once more and I can't help but laugh as he orders two vanilla lattes. He comes back to the table and he opens his mouth to speak again, just as I'm opening mine.

"I've missed you."

We both blush a furious beetroot red and an awkward chuckle escapes from both of us. When our coffees are brought over, the silence is broken with us both thanking the waitress and sighs of happiness as we enjoy the creamy liquid.

"Man, I love coffee." I mutter. He nods in agreement and we fall into silence once more. I know that we're both avoiding serious conversation but I don't want to be the one to start it, but I'm also growing impatient.

I don't have to wait much longer.

"So, what made you get in touch?" He suddenly asks. It takes me by surprise and so I quickly collect myself as he sits there, patiently watching me.

"Um, I got your number."

"So you didn't have it before?"

I shake my head. "She wouldn't let me have it... Nobody would."

"What made her change her mind?"

I look down at my lap and begin to wring my hands together. "...We talked properly for the first time since you left."

To that, he is silent. I look up at him and his face has dropped. "What happened... when I left?"

"Uh... she hit the liquor cabinet. She hated me. Well, I thought she did. I became a disappointment to her. She turned to Jesus. She became insane. She was emotionless and cold and awful and I hated everything. Why didn't you get in touch?"

He sighs and holds his face in his hands. "Oh God, that was all my fault. But Jade, I tried to get in touch, I really did. But she did everything in her power to keep me away from you... especially after the Jesus thing... she thought I was going to, infect you, per se."

My face must look incredibly confused because he suddenly dryly laughs and his face leaves his hands.

"What do you mean, by infect?"

"Jadelyn. I never told you the reason why we really broke up. I guess she never told you either or you wouldn't be questioning me right now."

He sighs once more and I look at him curiously.

"Jade. I'm gay."

Oh. That makes sense. "Well. That's a plot twist. I guess her ploys didn't work though..."

Now it's his turn to look confused. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

I raise an eyebrow at him in question. Am I? He looks at me impatiently. I smile. "Yeah. I am. I have a girlfriend."

His eyes begin to twinkle and a booming laugh escapes him. "Wow, we really do have a lot in common."

Knowing this information helps me understand my mother even more. "That kind of explains why she hated the idea of Tori and I together though, I guess I just reminded her of you?"

He looks mildly insulted. "I'm not that bad to be compared to!"

I shake my head. "I didn't mean it like that. I think just in her mind it was bad. I don't think of you like that at all."

He smiles at that and I push forward on what I want to talk about next. "Have you been in touch with Sonia since you left?"

He freezes at that and I am already dreading the answer. He opens his mouth and what comes out is in a slight stutter. " N-not lately."

I cross my arms. "What is not lately?"

He shrugs. "We were never in proper contact really. I just got her to occasionally text me to tell me how you were doing. Then she got a new number and I guess she lost mine because I haven't heard from her in over a year now."

"Oh. That sucks. Do you want her new number?"

I expect him to enthusiastically nod but instead he shrugs once more. "I'd love it. I just don't know how happy she'd be to talk to me."

"I'll talk to her for you when I get home. I'm sure she'll want to talk to you."

He shrugs for a third time and I begin to wonder if his shoulders are going to fall off.

"Yeah... maybe." He looks so sad and lost that I feel so awful. "I'm so glad we got to do this, dad. What's happening in your life?"

He smiles up at me. "Um, I'm living on the other side of town. With my... partner. Maybe you can meet him some day. What about you? What school are you at?"

"Hollywood Arts, I-" I don't get any further because my father is holding up his hand for a high five. I meet it and he is smiling the widest I have seen the whole time.

"I am so incredibly proud of you Jade. Although there was a never a doubt in mind that you'd get in, I'm just still so happy you're where you've always wanted to be."

"Thanks. That really means a lot to me. Um, I have a girlfriend. Her name is Tori, she's amazing. Maybe you can meet her some day."

He nods at that excitedly. "What about your friends? Are you still hanging around with that girl... erm... Cat?"

I sigh. I don't want to talk about her. "Uh, no, not really. We... drifted apart. It's fine though and I have lots of amazing friends."

He nods as if he knows exactly what I mean and changes the subject almost immediately.

We talk through two more coffees and a muffin each. I cannot believe how easily the conversation begins to flow and how easy it is to talk to this man who was a stranger to me just hours ago. I am barely aware of when the waitress starts hovering by our table and clearing her throat.

I snap my head up to face her. "What?!" I see my dad flinch at my voice. Woops.

I can see the waitress is trying to keep a smile on her face. "Ma'am, we are closing. I am sorry to say this but could you please continue your evening outside?" We both get up and my dad smiles apologetically at her.

We walk out the door, and I only notice now how dark it is. "That was a bit rude Jade." I shrug.

"I don't like people hovering near me."

We stop at the corner of the street. "Do you need a ride?" He asks. I think about saying no but I'm incredibly tired and would probably pass out from exhaustion if I tried to walk home. I nod yes and follow him towards his car.

It is still the same car he's had since forever and as he unlocks it and I jump in the passenger door, I am hit with a wave of nostalgia.

"It still smells the same. Man, I loved this car." I mutter as I buckle myself in. He rubs a hand along my shoulder and begins to reverse out of his parking space.

The drive home is silent but not at all awkward. We are both incredibly relaxed and I am so at ease. It is almost too short and we are at the end of the driveway in no time.

"Still looks the same." I glance over at my father and he is staring at the house, staring at my mothers car. One part of me wants her to see us but a bigger part doesn't. I want to tell her about seeing him at a later point in time.

"Thankyou, Jade. For wanting to get in touch with me."

"Of course I would. You're my dad. Through thick and thin. No matter what." He smiles and squeezes my hand.

I step out of the car and lean in through the window.

"I'll give you a call sometime soon and maybe you can come over for dinner? Maybe bring your girlfriend along."

"Yeah, that sounds really good." He starts the car and I step backwards, waving goodbye as he backs out of the driveway and drives off down the road with the toot of a horn.

This is only the beginning.

**HI :) Sorry that this is a bit short. I just wanted a whole chapter to just focus on the reunion. This definitely won't be the only interaction between Jade and her dad, and eventually her mum and her dad will have some interaction too. I'll try and update as soon as I can! :) xx**


	16. Mum

**Just some mother daughter bonding :) THE FEELS! xx**

I open the front door, dropping my bag on the table beside the entry, before slipping off my shoes and padding barefoot to the lounge.

Sonia is sitting on the armchair, engrossed in whatever's on the screen of her phone. Mike and mum are snuggled up on the couch, laughing at a movie on the TV.

"Hey everyone."

"Hey Jade." They all reply in different states, Sonia with her eyes still glued to her screen, Mike with his eyes still glued to _his _screen, and mum looks up at me and smiles a happy but tired smile.

"Where have you been?" She asks, standing up and walking over to me, giving me a small hug. It's still an odd gesture to me but I recuperate the embrace, before she steps away and heads into the kitchen.

I hesitate slightly before answering. "At Tori's house for a project, it's due tomorrow." I am waiting for a harsh comment when suddenly I remember that I won't get one. She smiles and nods okay.

"Want a drink?" She questions me as she pulls out various mugs and flicks on the jug.

"Yes please, a hot chocolate. I'm just going to have a quick shower."

She nods once more as I bound my way up the stairs two at a time, grabbing the towel hanging over my door and locking myself in the bathroom.

I turn on the shower and undress, before turning to look at myself in the mirror. I am almost unrecognizable with the gleaming smile on my face. It looks so unlike me. I laugh at myself, jumping into the shower and enjoying the peace. I sing to myself as I wash my hair and shave my legs, turning off the pulsing water when I hear my name being called.

I wrap my dripping hair up in a towel, while drying myself off before grabbing a pair of comfy black track pants and a grey singlet. I sling them on and go back downstairs, rubbing my hair in my towel, trying to get most of the water out of it.

I walk up to my mother, who is holding a steaming cup towards me. I take it with a smile of thanks and take a sip.

Heaven.

I forgot that my mother makes the best drinks, it's been so long since I've had one. I follow her back to the lounge and I see that Mike has gone.

"Where's Mike?" I ask, perching myself on the other armchair.

"He had to grab some stuff from his house, come sit here." She replies, patting the cushion next to her. I oblige and walk over to her, placing myself next to her and leaning on her arm.

"So, what's for dinner?" I ask, nudging her in the tummy with my elbow.

"Ow! Jade your elbows are incredibly pointy! Also, it sounds incredibly odd you saying that. I haven't heard you ask me that in forever."

I shrug softly at that and release a dry chuckle. "Yeah. I learned to cook pretty well though, on the bright side."

I can feel her slightly tense, and an arm is wrapped around me. "I'm still so sorry Jade. In fact, I will probably never not be sorry. There's so many things I want to fix but I just don't know how."

I wrap an arm around her and smile up at her concerned face. "You can start by cooking dinner!"

This time it's her who digs her elbow into my stomach. "Cheeky! But fine! Since you're such a master chef, you can come help me."

I groan as she stands up and grabs my arm, pulling me upwards. She is dragging me towards the kitchen when I finally yell, "My hot chocolate!" She releases me and laughs as I scurry back to the couch, grabbing my cup and taking a large gulp.

"Alright, I'm ready." I place the cup on the bench and watch as she raids through various vessels, pulling out chicken, vegetables, noodles and sauces.

"Chowmein?" I guess, heading over to the sink and washing my hands clean.

She nods and follows suit, before drying her hands on the hand towel hanging over the oven.

"Jade, vegetables, cut, please, thank you."

I chuckle as she tosses me a capsicum. "Yes Chef!" I begin to dice the vegetables that are being continually thrown at me. Everything's going well until she throws a capsicum when I'm not looking and hits me on the back of my neck.

I turn around and she is cowering by the fridge. "Er.. sorry!" She is trying to remain straight faced but I can see she's trying not to laugh.

I grab a handful of carrot slices and start throwing them at her one by one. She squeals and tries to hide but I keep throwing them.

I can't even begin to imagine the scene Mike walked into when he opened the front door.

"What's going on?!" We are collapsed on the ground, our hands on our stomachs, tears pouring from our eyes and endless laughter pouring from our mouths, various food items scattered all over us.

"She started it!" I manage to splutter out, before breaking into another fit of laughter.

He shakes his head slowly before starting to laugh. "Alright, the both of you, up!" He holds out both of his hands and we grab one each, wiping away our tears and finally slowing down our laughter. I never knew my mother was still such a child.

"What's happened?" Mike asks, looking at us like we're naughty school children and he's the principal.

"She threw a capsicum at me, so I threw carrot sticks at her, and it... er... escalated."

He sighs before breaking into a laugh. "Well I hope there are still usable vegetables left, I'm starving!" With that, he leaves us a cheeky grin before saundering off to the lounge and collapsing down on the couch.

We're still laughing as we brush the remainder of food pieces stuck onto our clothing, before finally calming down enough to get back to work.

"That was a lot of fun." Mum mutters, now cooking the chicken on the stove top. I nod in agreement.

"it was, I think we both needed it too." She says nothing to that, but I know that she's agreeing with me.

We eventually finish making dinner, and I call upstairs to Sonia and to Mike to hurry their asses to the dinner table.

Sonia walks down and is obviously at first puzzled to see me at the table, talking to mum, but she shakes it off and sits opposite me, digging her fork into her bowl.

"How was school today?" Mum asks, twirling noodles around her fork.

I shrug in reply. "It's school, it's always average, and sometime's it's a little bit better or worse. Today it was a little bit better."

I smile at her to let her know that she's the reason why it was better than usual instead of worse.

Sonia has stopped eating and is now looking at us both enquiringly instead.

"So, Jade, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

I roll my eyes at her and poke out my tongue. "Well, my dearest sister, I fancied a delicious home cooked dinner."

She raises an eyebrow at me and I know I'll face her interrogation later, but I shrug her off for now and continue eating, enjoying the full dinner table and everyone's company.

My phone buzzes and I quickly check it underneath the table.

**Dinner sometime next week? **

It is my father and I quickly tap back a 'yes' before sliding the phone back into my pocket.

"Who was that?" My mother asks, mouth half full.

"Beck, he was reminding me to search something up for the project."

She dabs her mouth on the napkin in front of her. "I know it was only last night, but have you...?"

I shake my head, I'm a bit worried but I don't want her to know yet.

"Not yet, I'm going to give it some time. I'm still a bit apprehensive." She reaches over and strokes my hand, before going back to her food.

Sonia looks at me quizzically once more but I just shake my head and look down at the table.

We all finish and Mike stands up and grabs everyone's bowls, saying he'll clean up since we made dinner.

The next few hours I have would usually be such a boring night for anyone.

Well, anyone but me, that is.

I sit, cuddled up between Sonia and my mother, watching a comedy, sharing popcorn and candy. Most people would think it was lame to spend your night with your mother and sister, but it was honestly the most amazing night I had had in such a long time.

I don't realise how tired I am until my eyelids start to droop and I have trouble keeping my head up. My mother looks down at me. "Bedtime, eh?"

I nod slowly and she follows me out of the lounge, up the stairs into my room. For the first time since I was five, she tucks me into bed.

Now if anyone ever at school found out that my mother tucked me into bed, my reputation would be in ruins.

"Goodnight Jade, I love you."

"I love you too."

It was more than a good night.

It was the perfect night.

**Sorry this was so short! Also, Shortly I'm going to be starting a new project, The first chapter may even be up in a couple of hours but we'll see! xx**


	17. Together

**Some long awaited Jori-ness! Finally! But this is only the beginning ;) OH HOW THE TIME FLIES XX**

"Hey babe." I feel like I haven't seen you in a lifetime. It's been less than twenty four hours.

"Hey my love." I reply, kissing Tori on the cheek, hopping into her car and smiling widely at her.

"So... how was your afternoon?" She asks, pulling out of my driveway.

"It was... really good. I missed him a lot."

"I'm so glad for you baby, and what about things with your mum?"

I smile even wider at that. "They're good too. I'm so happy it's not even funny."

She grins and squeezes my hand. "That's so good! Hey, we haven't spent any time together this week, how about you stay tonight?"

I nod my head frantically at the idea and she chuckles. "I'm taking that as a yes, then!"

"Yes please, this week's been so full on; we've barely been able to talk properly."

"Well, tonight's going to be our night, okay?"

I nod and pull her hand up so I can kiss it. She smiles.

"I love you, Jade."

"As I love you."

LINE BREAK

"Hi." Cat says frostily, sitting in the seat next to me and pulling her books out.

"Hey." I say back, placing my pen down on the desk and looking up at her.

"How much longer do we have for this?" I ask, pulling out my notes and glancing over them.

"A week. We should probably get a move on."

I nod as she pulls out her laptop, red like the colour of her hair.

"Still the same one, eh?" I ask, nodding at her laptop.

She nods and smiles, only momentarily, before turning to the screen and waiting for it to turn on.

I awkwardly read over the script we had so far before turning to her in question. "Have we got our characters sorted yet?"

She shrugs. "I'm not too sure. We could get Tori to play the wife. Andre, Robbie and Beck could be other detectives."

I nod. "Sweet as, it will be easy enough, it's not like it's too much to learn."

"I guess. We'll just have to work out times out of class we can all work together because we're going to need to get as much practice as we can."

I cringe at that. The thought of us all together again as a group, messing around like we used to kind of sounds decent.

But at the same time, I know that it will probably be a little bit awkward and maybe a bit awful, to be honest.

By the time the period is finished the whole script is done. I'm surprised that we've worked together so well. It's just so much effort to fight.

My phone rings. I glance at the screen and see it's my father.

"Hey dad." Cat's head snaps up and I can feel her brown eyes boring into the side of my face.

"Hey, Jade. Are you busy tomorrow night?"

"Nope, why's that?"

"How about we go on a double date, eh? You and your partner, and me and mine?"

I smile. "Sounds great, I better go though, I'm in class. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

We say goodbye and hang up, and still Cat is looking at me in question.

"Yes?" I snap, irritated by her staring. I begin to collect up my books and place them in my bag, the teacher shooting me a disapproving glare, because it was still ten minutes before the bell would ring.

"Was that your dad?" Cat finally asks.

I can't help but roll my eyes. "No, I greet every person I talk to by calling them 'dad'."

She hears the sarcasm dripping off my words and she rolls her eyes back at me. She obviously learnt off a pro.

That pro being me, of course.

I can see she wants to ask more but she doesn't of course, because we're still not talking.

I totally don't wish she would ask me.

I totally enjoy the fact that we're still not talking.

She awkwardly packs up beside me and I impatiently look down at my phone, waiting down the minutes until the end of the period, because then I'm just closer to spending time with Tori.

LINE BREAK

I struggle through four periods, a wide grin filling my face when the last bell goes. I walk out the front gate and I go to stand by Tori's car, impatiently waiting for her.

"Hey love!" She yells, waving goodbye to a bunch of people behind her and coming up towards me.

I wrap her in a hug and nuzzle into her neck. "I'm so looking forward to spending time with you."

I look up and she's smiling happily, blushing slightly. "You're so cute. But now I'm going to be a pain. I really need to grab a couple of important things; do you think you could get to mine yourself?"

I raise an eyebrow at her mysterious mission but hold out my hand anyway.

She lays the key in my palm and kisses me on the cheek. "No one will be home. Trina's at a mate's tonight. The parents are staying over at my aunt's house. I promise I won't be too long."

She gives me one last peck and I head off towards the back of the school, crossing through the park and over the fence, before landing on her back porch.

I fumble with the key in the lock but finally it turns and I step inside. I inhale deeply, only smelling Tori and I smile, dropping my bag down on the bench.

I open the fridge and peer inside, grabbing out a bottle of water before closing it shut again. I pick my bag up and walk my way up the stairs, opening Tori's door and letting myself in.

I sigh with content and sit myself down on the side of her bed, pulling off my boots and chucking them on the floor next to me. I stretch my legs and feet out and feel pleasure as they click and my muscles stretch and then relax. I decide I want a shower but first I must call my mother and let her know I'm not coming home.

She picks up after a few rings. "Hey Jade, I was about to call. Where are you?"

"Um, I'm spending the night at Tori's tonight... if that's ok?"

I can hear the strain in her voice as she responds. "It's... fine. Have a good night, love. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I say goodbye and I can tell she doesn't like it, but she'll deal with it. And at least she's doing that.

I go into Tori's wardrobe, and luckily enough because this house was always more like my home than my actual house, I always had a decent amount of clothing here. Her wardrobe was basically split in half. Half hers, half mine.

I step into the bathroom, and turn the water on. I strip off and step under the streaming heat. I have just finished conditioning my hair when I hear the front door open and then close again. I turn off the shower and step out, wrapping a towel around myself just as Tori's head pops around the doorway.

She opens her mouth to speak but gets caught off guard. Her eyes rake over my half naked self and she whistles a low whistle.

"Damn. Sometimes I forget just how sexy you are." She eyes me appreciatively again before pulling her head back and closing the door behind her. I chuckle slightly before drying myself and getting changed.

Matching lacy black and purple underwear and bra. A loose fitting black singlet with a skull cut out of the back. Dark blue skinny jeans. I step out of the bathroom, drying the ends of my hair on a towel.

Tori is sitting on the edge of her bed, her towel in hand. "You're gorgeous, you know that?" I smile at the ground. She gets up and places a kiss on the corner of my mouth.

"Won't be long." I nod in reply and she steps into the bathroom, leaving the door slightly open. I watch through the gap as she pulls off her shirt, and then she undoes her bra and shucks it onto the floor. I watch as she clips up her hair and I get a perfect view of her gorgeous tan backside. She goes out of sight as she steps into the shower.

I sigh and try to distract myself by tugging a brush through my hair. That's over too soon and once again I am left, staring through the gap in the bathroom door, waiting for her to emerge.

She does so not long later, so elegantly, her perfect body damp. I watch and see portions of her. One smooth leg sliding into a pair of underwear, an arm lifting as she unclips her hair, a hand fluffing it up. I stifle a groan as she turns, and I get a view of her perfect chest before a bra is thrown on.

I turn away and try to calm myself down. But she's just so... hot.

She emerges and she winks at me, almost as if she knew I was watching her the whole time.

She's dressed in a black singlet and a high waisted light green skirt, short at the front and long and flowing at the back.

"You never wear skirts. You should do it more often."

"Do you think so? I'm never too sure." She swivels anxiously as she observes herself. It amazes me that someone so... gorgeous could be so unsure of them self.

"Hey, babe." She looks up at me.

"You look beautiful, okay?" Her face kind of crumbles and she walks straight into me and I wrap my arms around her.

"Lately I've just been feeling awful about myself and I don't know why. But it's horrible." She mutters, a slight waver in her voice.

I'm immediately hit with guilt. I had been so set in my own problems and my own being I had no idea that Tori was feeling this way.

"I'm sorry I've been so useless lately, everything's just been... weird."

Tori looks up at me. "I was so scared, after we fought Tuesday, and you left early Wednesday, I thought you'd gotten sick of me and there was no way I could win you back."

I reel in shock. "No. Never. I am constantly terrified of losing you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. And even though there had been some amazing things happening this week it's true. Without you, I would honestly not be here today." I hear a sniff and Tori's wiping tears away from her eyes.

"I love you, Jadelyn West."

"As I love you, Tori Vega. But seriously, we're fine, let's cheer up, eh?"

She laughs at that. "Y'know, that's usually me saying that. Look at you, miss positivity."

I laugh but say nothing because she's absolutely right. She suddenly wickedly grins at me.

"Alright, now you have to wait here and you're not allowed to come down until I say, okay?"

I nod apprehensively and she squeals in delight, before planting a kiss on my forehead and skipping out of the room.

I sigh, she was definitely still miss positivity! I sit myself down on the bed and pull out Tori's laptop, booting it up and putting some headphones in. I'm in the middle of a LoL game when suddenly hands get cupped over my eyes.

"Okay, sorry baby, I know your game's important but this is more important."

If it was anyone else I would've grumbled and moaned but I let her shut the laptop and lead me down the stairs. The first thing that hit me was the smell of cooking food. Good food too.

"Surprise!" She pulls her hands off my eyes and I look around the room. Soft, slow music plays in the background. Between The Trees. Sweet smelling candles are placed on every available space, giving the room a light glow and a pleasant aroma. A table set up for two, a bottle of wine sitting in the middle.

I am shocked. I am speechless. My vision blurs as I feel tears begin to form in the corner of my eyes.

Two safe, loving arms wrap around my back and come to rest on my torso. A soft voice whispers in my ear.

"Happy six months, my baby."

I turn around and crush my mouth against hers.

**Stay tuned, folks 3**


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